Sometimes God cries too

I’m going to a funeral today

For a little boy

Who died at play

In a backyard swimming pool

On a bright and sunny day

When the worst he should have got was sunburn

I don’t want to go

I don’t want to watch the pain blooming in his parents eyes

A weed that will twist in their hearts forever

I don’t want to see his older brother

Barely six

Who in many ways

Will pay for this

For the rest of his life

A boy/man irrevocably changed

Altered

I don’t know why these things happen

Tragedies on hot summer afternoons

But I know standing there today

Amongst the other mourners

That have come to stand

Perhaps we each can take away

Some little piece of parent pain

If only there were enough mourners

To shoulder the blame

The blame we all carry deep inside us

That flowers when accidents elude us

And we cannot prevent their passing

As soon as we give birth to these little outsiders

That run away

Tear away

Climb trees

Drive cars too fast

And live a life

That we cannot protect them from

A death we cannot save them from

At times

No matter how hard we try

The biggest lie that we tell ourselves

Is that we should have tried harder

But nobody tries harder than loving parents

Some things are the way they are

And we have to let them be

Because we are all children

and sometimes God cries too

46 thoughts on “Sometimes God cries too

    • Oh it’s breaking my heart – my boys were busy little men always getting into everything – the amount of near misses they had one way another – I could very well be that mother and yet I was in a constant state of ferocious awareness – still they get past us at times. And when that happens all mothers and fathers cry

      Liked by 5 people

      • It’s those near misses that are almost the worst. Just that whole feeling of “If they had fallen in the other direction…” or “If I hadn’t been there…” or “What if they had run across the street a little slower…”

        Liked by 5 people

      • My heart was always in my mouth – you don’t know the meaning of terror till you’ve lost a child in a busy shopping mall when they are a bush kid – as a 4 year old Tom just headed off for donuts, disappeared as I tended to his baby brother – lifts going up and down and thousands of people brushing up against me and me yelling. Oh God thankfully a woman found him by the donut shop. Tom was always wandering off at the most inexplicable times. Kids march to a different drum and only they can hear it.

        Liked by 5 people

      • I can only imagine the sinking heart terror. In a moment like that it’s easy to go overboard with all of the frantic what if’s, especially when your child is only 4 years old.

        You’re so lucky and blessed that someone found him.

        Liked by 4 people

    • I’m sorry. I hope it didn’t trigger something – I find things so disturbing sometimes that the only way out is to write – then I can find something behind it – that enables acceptance. Perhaps it is one I should have just kept in my notes.

      Liked by 3 people

      • When my husband came home and told me what had happened – it was lunchtime and I wanted to throw up. I was so sad I couldn’t speak because as you say, as a parent you can imagine the pain, the terror and the long road ahead that is now missing a member of your family to walk beside. All those events and milestones. It doesn’t do to dwell – but I find it very difficult to go to things like today. I’m sure many people feel the same way.

        Liked by 3 people

  1. So hard to make sense of these tragedies. Thank you for your beautiful words…..I’ve seen my boys loose friends to brain cancer and suicide. None of it makes sense. My second son made an attempt last week to take his own life. I don’t want to let him out of my sight. I somehow feel I can save him from himself. Deep down I know I can’t. He’s a grown man living on his own…………

    Liked by 4 people

    • Mine live on their own too – I worry all the time – it was so easy when I knew they were safe in their beds as I went to my own and yet I don’t think I appreciated as much at the time – I’m so sorry about your son and his attempt at an exit – it’s difficult this life sometimes and not everyone has the resilience and skills to cope with it – and unfortunately that isn’t something we as parents can give them – it’s something they find for themselves. Sending you love.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. This wiring says it all, as parents we live with these fears in mind and your words are powerful in this piece. Not much left to say except pray. These dear parents, siblings, their lives, irrevocably and forever will never be the same.

    Liked by 2 people

      • I like your traffic signs comparison.
        I don’t always proof my posts before publishing (yes, I know…), so when I read it later and I see such silly mistakes, I want to vanish. It’s embarrassing. But I’m only human.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Just annoying – I often post really early in the mornings – I get up at mad hour to have some thinking time and then I go back to bed with a coffee till a more sensible time to get up – bit crazy but it works – most of the time – it just means if I get a particularly good burst of Inspro it’s not always curated properly – annoying

        Liked by 2 people

      • Yes! I once wrote him a letter and got an answer, One time he put 20 + boats into a Pasture in Montana and had people rowing them through the grass fields……Funnest Love story I ever had the pleasure to read…..My local bookstore keeps copies on the shelf since I am always buying them and gifting them away to friends of mine! So what city do YOU live in? I just like to know where my fans are located…..

        Liked by 2 people

      • It always nice to connect with some-one down-under, when I am away up Top in Alaska, nice to meet YOU! Do you know LWBUT? He is from Australia also, I live in an old log cabin about 18miles from town, I love it, so nice and Quiet, some wonderful neighbors, Spring Water! LWBUT says it is really hot there now, and lots of fires……It is 14 degress F. here and I cannot get my wood stove to get it above 59 F…So chilly in here……

        Liked by 1 person

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