Learning to get along

[Words]

I have all these voices in my head

Aspects of self

They belong to me

You understand?

They’re all me, mine

Just different versions

That take their turn in time

Turn me around

Choose a perspective

She won’t last long

So it doesn’t matter who’s elected

To be CEO for the day

There is the me that tries to please

She was bullied and is still trying to fit in

The one that doesn’t care – she has walked alone

Held her own hand

She doesn’t need anyone holding it for her

Thanks…

Shakes it off

Tucks hers in her pockets

The artist creatively pacing the edges of her own boundaries and leaping out of the comfort zone

Much to the horror of she that shrinks from the spotlight

And would prefer to be home

Then there is the adventurer headed off on her own

The runner

The rider

The philosopher who takes it all in her stride

And writes it down

Using poetry

And all the other ones

That appear only when the occasion warrants their attendance

Then disappear

Show ended

But the thing is

I’m trying to become a single entity here

Not this augmented reality

That I must try and untangle and defuse

Usually after I’ve said or done

something

That some other part of me

Doesn’t agree with

The inner battle and turmoil

I could do without

Every time I have something important to think about

So

I gather them in a circle

Try to choose a single one

But like children

I realise I would miss them if they were gone

This one or the other

They’re all mine

All necessary

And it appears we’re all stronger together

So I guess

We all just have to

Learn to get along..

*

I think this is a basic difference between men and women.

Men have one guy in there doing their thing – whatever that is. I’ve been married to my guy for over 25 years and he doesn’t change. Softened yes – but unchanged.

On a daily basis his routines and habits are set by a watchmaker from Germany

Precision

Guaranteed

Copyright Steve

Not me

Other end of the spectrum indeed

And I don’t mean to be rhyming yet it continues

Sorry

Anyway I know that I am a superlative, perhaps even exceptional example of my breed

Cough

I am a multifaceted woman

And I’m not saying all women are quite as restlessly ephemeral as me

Certainly not

I am unique

But I do know a lot of women who have borderline fatigue

From dealing with their multiple deeds and roles and interests

And keeping all their eggs from breaking in all their different baskets

Because of course women are too smart to keep them in just one 🙄

We women (and I know this from talking to many others) have a deep internal life – we have roles like mother, daughter, wife and we are expected to twist into many others throughout our lives.

Seamlessly blending.

Effortlessly mending all these odd assortment of tools on as we go.

Gluing on personality extensions like extra appendages

Prosthetic limbs

To get us through many varied difficult things

And we learn in childhood that women must be more – we must follow odd perplexing rules like don’t sit here, don’t sit like that, don’t look like that, look like this. The rules and lists are endless.

Until we get the feeling that we are never quite getting it right.

{Men do their thing too, I’m not trying to be discriminatory or belittling in any way your characters – this just isn’t about you}

I know women better – I boarded with them – lots of different ones from the time I was very little. I know who they are and who they say they are and why that’s sometimes different even when they pretend it isn’t.

Being a woman is deep work and hard at times.

Trying to keep track of all our different hats and where we left them

We become more and more and more – then less and less, until at some stage

There is just one or two again

And I’m getting to that now

I know who I am and why

After all this very long time

Yet even then

I sometimes surprise myself

Change is constant but where I change from

That becomes more fixed

Stable

As I grow older

Finding the inner pivot point

My lodestone

The dance begins to become effortless

And being myself – inhabiting all those dimensions

Owning all these wonderful exotic parts of me and loving every scrap

That is the very best part

Of ageing

A gift denied to many

So I approach it

With a truly grateful heart

Mind you let’s not be in a hurry I’m only …

No

Just no

Don’t be bothered asking

I’m late posting today, I began thinking about this yesterday following a question regarding “who is your writers voice” I realised how many voices were present within – and how many places I come from at certain times.

Why I may get defensive – which part of me that is – who is responding – why I may laugh derisively at someone else who attacks in a different situation.

It isn’t a female thing entirely I know it is more a human trait – we are designed to morph into whatever is required at the time – it’s a mechanism for survival

Lately though I have prioritised which response I want to use – as much as possible – all the time – and that is kindness – I think it is our perfect response to almost every situation if not for the other – than most certainly for ourselves.

But sometimes I don’t

So

I had to ensure all the different parts of me were on board

Memo sent

Voted through

For once the committee meeting went well

It took awhile to dive down there and get this the way I wanted it – the way I felt it

I think it’s right now and at some point you have to stop thinking and just ship it

Have a great day

Stamp boom blog post on its way.

19 thoughts on “Learning to get along

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