There is a girl
Who looks like my Mum
When she laughs
She looks a little like Dad
Maybe that’s why I seek her reflection
When I ask life’s deeper questions
How am I doing?
Am I getting any better as a person?
Or am I still revolving around
The two steps forward
That has been my arc of learning to get where I am
Thus far is a point in our linear life
The girl is older
Of 25 years
Quarter of a century pulling a man through beside me
And him pulling me
Quarter of a century
Yet I don’t see his face in the mirror
When I ask
Am I up to this task?
There is only my face with its reflections of the past
And tiny lines being worn
Like battle scars
Rising closer to the surface with each year
Finding my own compass
And having the courage to follow it
I tuck my hair back
Rinse the soap
Stop asking small questions
It’s only the large that matter
And they aren’t answered
By having a natter
In the bathroom mirror
We go on
And we hope
One day turning over
Into the new
It’s how a life is made
One becoming two
And laughing at the moon
And all the difficulties she throws at us
Anybody else feeling this Gemini moon. She is glowing out my window as a I write tonight/morning. Great things have happened in the last few months. Pieces of old breaking off falling away as I feel they should. Yet where they have been torn, splinters gather, cutting me.
Moons feel personal for some reason – huge and round they seem to shine just for me.
Another month, rising, falling, renewing – this amazing cycle that occurs pulling us in and out and through like a constantly threading needle, sewing us into the fabric of our lives. Weaving a personal tapestry.
Yet our lives are not personal, they are full of other threads and we have to incorporate all of these into our design.
A tapestry of just one thread – is boring. The more colours and lives we can incorporate into our own, the more beautiful the finished piece.
Anyone sitting through the heart wrenching ceremony of eulogy knows – the wider the spread, the more beautifully coloured the threads – the variety and contrast of the palette, the greater the life that has woven it.
Relationships are difficult – they provoke and push us into different aspects of who we are. Who we become. When going through tough times sometimes, particularly marriage, it feels easier to do it by yourself.
It’s difficult enough keeping your own boat sailing without going back and bailing someone else’s out too.
Marriage can seem like a constant battle – both together and apart.
But the tough times dye the deepest richest colours – stick, stay, sew, thread, weave.
Your tapestry will be more beautiful because of it