The Mirror doesn’t answer much in the end

There is a girl

Who looks like my Mum

When she laughs

She looks a little like Dad

Too

Maybe that’s why I seek her reflection

When I ask life’s deeper questions

Like

How am I doing?

Am I getting any better as a person?

Or am I still revolving around

And around

The two steps forward

One back

Method

That has been my arc of learning to get where I am

Thus far

Thus far is a point in our linear life

The girl is older

A wife

Of 25 years

Quarter of a century pulling a man through beside me

And him pulling me

Quarter of a century

Yet I don’t see his face in the mirror

When I ask

Am I up to this task?

The next?

There is only my face with its reflections of the past

And tiny lines being worn

Like battle scars

Fractured soul

Rising closer to the surface with each year

Melding together

Finding my own compass

And having the courage to follow it

I tuck my hair back

Rinse the soap

Stop asking small questions

It’s only the large that matter

And they aren’t answered

By having a natter

In the bathroom mirror

We go on

And we hope

One day turning over

Into the new

It’s how a life is made

One becoming two

Sticking together

And laughing at the moon

And all the difficulties she throws at us

***

Anybody else feeling this Gemini moon. She is glowing out my window as a I write tonight/morning. Great things have happened in the last few months. Pieces of old breaking off falling away as I feel they should. Yet where they have been torn, splinters gather, cutting me.

Moons feel personal for some reason – huge and round they seem to shine just for me.

Another month, rising, falling, renewing – this amazing cycle that occurs pulling us in and out and through like a constantly threading needle, sewing us into the fabric of our lives. Weaving a personal tapestry.

Yet our lives are not personal, they are full of other threads and we have to incorporate all of these into our design.

A tapestry of just one thread – is boring. The more colours and lives we can incorporate into our own, the more beautiful the finished piece.

Anyone sitting through the heart wrenching ceremony of eulogy knows – the wider the spread, the more beautifully coloured the threads – the variety and contrast of the palette, the greater the life that has woven it.

Relationships are difficult – they provoke and push us into different aspects of who we are. Who we become. When going through tough times sometimes, particularly marriage, it feels easier to do it by yourself.

It’s difficult enough keeping your own boat sailing without going back and bailing someone else’s out too.

Marriage can seem like a constant battle – both together and apart.

But the tough times dye the deepest richest colours – stick, stay, sew, thread, weave.

Your tapestry will be more beautiful because of it

I promise

8 thoughts on “The Mirror doesn’t answer much in the end

  1. Oh! Thank YOU Thousand bits for another heart-warming Poem, you made my day just a bit brighter, here in Alaska, where the nights are so long, and the Moon is the only light we have to share, yet this full Moon day reminds us that that Sun of ours is still shinning, shinning, on, on the other side of this globe of ours, and after December 21, will be on it’s way back to us and 18 hour days of Sun’s Shine…..With Love, from Alaskaman….. ________________________________

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ah. I have to agree with you about the moons and the way they can bring out a lot in us. But the concept of spending such a large chunk of life entwined with another is no small feat. Leaning on each other is what we should do. It’s what we are there for. It’s in our vows.

    Like

  3. If someone resembles Dad we say that has been have extramarital affairs, but if they resemble Mom too, short of defying logic, we say they are the other self of ‘the family’ because God creates two of us. One here is you and the other is at the other end of the World. If you meet them it’s a blessing. The Sun is great, warm and loving and the Moon in some ways is a far-greater bae blessing because when it comes out is when we all want to be with our baes. Haha don’t ask me where that came from. I’m just now waking up.

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