The move I walked into

I gave my last $50

It was the only note I had in my wallet

To a man with his head down

A cap

And hair

That looked just like my sons

I walked past him

Hit the button to walk

But something was reeling me backwards

It was that thought

That cap – like my sons

He was a bum

Down on his luck

My heart is easily touched

But my upbringing

Means my wallet never is

I’ve got smarts

Hard edges

If I wish to use them

It was a choice

Carefully considered

I weighed it up

He could be an addict

And I’m adding to his habit

Could be a con man

Could be

Could be someone’s son

And in fact he once was one

Once

So I turned around

Bent down

Had a conversation

He told me his spiel

Except somewhere between the fifth sad tale

And the next

He caught my eye

And realised

Something …

In the deep quiet gap

I handed him a fifty for nothing

And said “get yourself something to eat maybe”

He moved so fast

He almost beat me to my feet

He didn’t say thanks

Just headed down the street

And now you’re thinking

Hood winked

Except I wasn’t

Maybe he was so fast because he was done believing in luck

Wanted to get out ahead

Before the other shoe dropped

Me?

I just bought myself a lesson

And sometimes you have to pay

So you remember

Not everything your heart feels is true

Not everything your brain thinks is right

But your gut is never wrong

My heart grabbed me

My brain told me no

My gut said “look deep in his eyes as you hand over the money”

And know

He may be any number of a great many things

But you

Are a nice human being

And it never hurts to give a really sad human

No matter their cause

A reason to smile

And who knows why

Out of all the sad people I have walked past this weekend

This guy reeled me in

And took me for a fifty

Without saying a word

To put this baldly

I had spent that fifty

I knew it was gone

Before I even bent down

I had checked my wallet for something smaller

Didn’t have it

So I made that decision

No matter what he said

To give it

Sometimes the direction doesn’t come from anything inside of you

It comes through you

And then

Just do it

Because when it is that strong

It doesn’t belong to humans

Somebody higher than me

Used my wallet

And that is cool

I’ll play along

Because I know

That someone higher than me

Will pay me back

In more

Than I can ever imagine

Down the track

And whatever ledge or bottom scraped moment that guy was sitting on

I walked into

And then God moved me

19 thoughts on “The move I walked into

  1. Good for you! You may have repaid a debt owed in a former life. Yes, I believe in reincarnation.

    A similar thing happened to me on my last visit to the doctor in 2019. I attend a family clinic that welcomes the homeless in the neighborhood. When the guy sitting next to me in the waiting room asked me what time it was, I engaged him in conversation. It turned out that he has been homeless for the past ten years following a motorcycle accident that left him crippled and blind in one eye. I told him that I was a writer and had recently published my first novel. I like reading, he told me, but don’t get to read much. On an impulse, I gave him the copy of my novel I had in my handbag. His gratitude and the loving care with which he wrapped up my book to keep it secure in his backpack touched my heart. When his name was called to see a doctor, I watched as he hobbled towards the doorway to the consulting rooms. My hope is that my novel brings some light into his life and to anyone else he may choose to share it with.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I used to work near the ballpark. The homeless guys were numerous. They had their shopping cart and during the season they collected beer cans from restaurant dumpsters near the park. But after the season was over they still collected, however not as many. They greeted me each morning on my way to work, they started early.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I would give them all (4 of them) $10.00 every week during winter. They never asked me for anything. My daughters ex left a bunch of winter clothes behind and socks. I lugged them on the bus 5 days in a row, I have never seen more grateful men. It felt good to pay it forward. I was in their shoes for a short period of time.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Beautiful ❤️That’s the thing there is so much gratitude (that I could) and love in the giving. Everyone has those hard edges that form this cynic inside ..feels good to take that razor blade jacket off and just do because I am moved.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. You know that you know that you know when it’s God’s gentle nudge. This is lovely 🙂 I worked at a shelter and the smiles I would get when I’d offer the gift of a smile, eye contact and greeting everyone by their name. They would stand a bit taller 🙂 There was a lovely group that would play the card game “apples to apples” and they would save me a seat and wait for me to have time to come play with them. Oh the fun we had!!!! I’d save up my appetite for my shifts and would eat in the dining hall as well, sometimes the residents didn’t know what to make of me lol!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Now this is nice, I bent to give a beggar some money and a passer by screamed ” don’t be quick to help a scammer, that right there might turn out to be richer than you” and in my head I was like, what does it matter, he asked! I had some and I shared. His reason I would never know. What if that little help goes along way, I still shall never know! What I do is my karma, and what he does is his, we can’t wait to know the reason before we help someone. Thanks for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

    • My pleasure and yes that is exactly the point – your action is your karma – another persons is theirs. The person that screamed has a scarcity mindset – we don’t own our money – it is ours to use and flows through us. The scarcity mindset screams – the abundant one moves when directed.

      Liked by 1 person

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