Head for the Sun – It will Come

Looking forward

A fog sets in

The week ahead

Even tomorrow

Each hour brings fresh news

Swinging change

Time comes trammelling

We are not ready

It catches us

With mouths agape

And hands tied in knots

The uncertainty funnily enough

The only certain thing

And still we keep shifting pins on the board

Ink on paper

Graphs mark graves

And grocery staples

Disappear

Leaving empty shelves

The crazy of last week

Are the wise of now

Canaries in the coal mine

They laugh

At we more prudent types

Who did not take more

Than we could see was required

At the time

Time?

Rush forward past it – push

I cannot

Cleverness

Is not the hallmark of the kind nor intelligent

Instead

Cleverness is the cunning of thieves

Rats

And others that survive plagues

They listen to auguries of doomsday callers

Not Government officials

Effectively they scurry

Emptying us

If only they had stolen my emotions as well

Instead

Emotions churn

Unwelcome, they push past my half closed door

Barrelling

Leaving scuff marks

All the things I used to look at

Seem turned upside down

I don’t like the view much

So I switch off the device

And walk outside

Watch my new seedlings hatch out of the soil

Tiny leaves unfurling

Beetroot

Zucchini

Lettuce

Looking back

I will remember

That these are the first seeds

I have ever had the patience to nurture

And watch come through

Seeds are planted in darkness

They climb blindly for the sun

I know it is there

I will take guidance from all these tiny things that grow

It takes faith

And something else,

That ineffable force

Available to us all

Stay stum

Head for the sun

Keep going

It will come

*this is my worst day so far. It is Sunday, I prefer the relentless work during the week – it feels ordinary. Sunday is full of “I’m not sure what will happen in the coming seven days.”

Normally I would be setting goals, (not that I always stick to them) instead, I’m morbidly chasing what ifs? We are in the construction industry – we can’t do that from home – or at least the workers can’t – we have so many people dependent on us.

One day at a time.

I would like to say thanks to all of you, I love reading what you are up to and hearing news from all over the world. I’m so grateful I reopened the blog late last year and cannot imagine what my life would be like without it.

I do follow the sun. Usually. I do. I think we wouldn’t be human not to fall victim to the gloom’s now and then in the face of all this.

These blogs, mine and everyone else’s will be interesting to look back on down the track.

Stay safe X

30 thoughts on “Head for the Sun – It will Come

  1. Kate– while Facebook has been horrible, this blog thing has really saved my life. Very few horrible comments from anyone and everyone’s posts are thoughtful. My husband, too, is in construction. He was laid off Friday. We own apartments, too, though don’t own them outright, so no idea if we can pay our mortgage payment and probably retirement out the window and we’re pretty old, really. But hearing from folks around the world IS comforting. And this blog space is comforting, too. You, particularly, help folks with your beautiful poetry…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Lynn. I’m sorry your husband was laid off. It’s a deeply concerning time. How odd that we are both in construction. We find who we find I guess. I do think it will come out okay in the end or at least a new level of okay. I hope so. I agree Facebook is a bit horrible – I mainly go there for news and official updates. I love the blogosphere it is so special.

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      • Yeah, my husband has worked for developers and we’ve had our own business and employed people for over ten years as well. My father was in road construction–while I am a writer and a university professor. Or I WAS. I fancy this gives me a broader perspective on the world than most people–maybe why I’m a social liberal, fiscal conservative! More like a libertarian. Ha. But I’ve seen things from a lot of perspectives. Don’t stop writing. I still can’t seem to get back focused yet–the adjustment to taking care of my dad and now all this. But then I prepared early — in a practical and emotional sense — so am thinking I’ll right the boat soon here — just need a bit more ballast. You are a fabulous writer even moreso a thinker and it’s been a pleasure to read your work. I think you have some books, too, right? I’ll have to buy them. I plan to do some reading again here soon, too.

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      • Thanks Lynn – that’s such a lovely compliment. Yes I have books. Links are in a page around here somewhere. Funnily enough I’m thinking that it’s time to release another poetry book and also wondering if I won’t just go ahead and self publish my novel, I will still have it professionally edited but then – why wait? Then I will just keep writing and editing and self publishing. It’s sort of not about the money to me – I feel an urgent need to write and publish and not wait around for the normal channels because if something happens I don’t want to die with the music inside me (or on my hard drive or in the cloud) I know that sounds melodramatic and who am I to feel my work is important but it’s not about that either – it’s about seizing the day. If this virus has taught me anything it is gratitude, humbleness and that we have no idea how long we have or what could happen in the next few hours let alone the months it would take me to go through “normal” processes. I hope you find your writing spark and begin someday soon – if not today. ❤️

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      • I have been considering self publishing my memoir/cookbook. I published lots of short stories in literary publications and had a novel and a linked story collection published at university presses here in Michigan, but the process is so long and brutal and it is pretty clear we are running out of time. Though in order to even do that, I need to be able to focus. I have the memoir mostly ready to go and was hoping to have my daughter help with photography (she’s gifted) and layout, but she’s a high school music teacher, too, and she’s having to teach at home with her 3-year-old and not sure when she’ll be able to help. So I think I’ll work on my fantasy/literary novel (I have to date just written literary work, but I have a fantasy/time thing roughed out). I am determined to at least get acclimated and focused on it tomorrow. 🙂 Then maybe my daughter can help me with the other project at some point. Send me some links to your work. I’ll try to locate it on your site!

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      • Do it Lynn! Publish yourself. Even if you go the traditional route, as you say there are many cons. At least you have full creative control and no costs with self pub. You can always pick up a traditional publisher down the track. There are pros and cons either way – and there are also half ways where you use an independent smaller publisher instead of going it alone. Do a bit of research though and see what you think.

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      • Yep, I already had been. Was looking at Amazon and Ingramspark ? and a couple others that escape me before all this happened. I had decided that was the way to go with my memoir/cookbook. Hadn’t decided on the fantasy/literary thing. But the layout looks difficult for a cookbook. I think my daughter can handle it, but she’s swamped now at home, I think. But I think you are right. I have to revise my fantasy thing anyway before deciding, a few months of work at least. I’ll do at least SOMETHING tonight to feel some kind of normality. Keep me posted on your experiences with this! But I think we are right on it. I do like the idea that it will be published as I want it.

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      • Imagination is the correct use of a creative mind – worry is the incorrect use. I read words to that effect somewhere years ago and they struck me because I have a prolific capacity for imagination and equally if I begin to worry about something – well, I don’t go there anymore. I love the idea of your memoir cook book – that sounds fascinating. I can’t wait to read your other book either – work on that and by the time you look up this whole thing will have blown over. I hope. If not…keep writing.

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    • Thanks for you beautiful comment Kat – it is so lovely to hear. I often double doubt posting a certain poem but when I hear comments like this I think – “Oh well someone needed to hear it” We are all in the same boat, it is circular and spinning through space – just got to check everyone has their life jackets on. ❤️

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  2. I feel the same… it’s hard for me to concentrate on the things I need to do right now. And there is so much uncertainty with my daughter moving at the beginning of the month and my husband moving next weekend to take a new job. I hope all works out for you Kate. One of my daughters is without work right now too, due to the place closing because of the virus. Everyone is without money and running low on supplies. It’s just chaos, but I’m confident we will survive.

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    • It would be easy to have a lot of bad feelings at the moment Ray a you guys are further down the track than us and it’s really taken ahold over there. It will end. Every storm runs out of rain as they say. What’s left will be to continue on I guess.

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      • No. I don’t think you understand. This kind of bad feeling is so deep that I know it to be true. It comes from some place else. It happened when one of the Hueys i was driving was going to far into a free fire zone to rescue wounded troops. It happened the day before Hurricane Katrina. And, it is happening now.

        Obviously, it doesn’t often.

        This is not going to end well. It may just be for me. It could be for my city which is third in the in outbreaks in the US, mostly because it arrived here without anyone knowing during Mardi Gras. It could be more than that.

        Peace.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’m sorry Ray I just saw this from you. I can’t answer to a bad feeling – intuition is a deeply personal thing. I am sending you love and the very best of wishes for continued good health of you and your family. Will watch for updates 💙stay strong

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  3. Hey, I hope you will accept, the fact that I have nominated you for the mystery blogger award! Feel free to take it or leave it if you do here are my 5 questions.
    1. What do you love to do in your free time?
    2. Whats your one goal for the year?
    3. What makes you feel in control?
    4. Why do you love blogging
    5. Weirdest fact you know?
    Lily-https://lily23456org.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “Leaving scuff marks…” Oh, indeed, this time is riddled with them! In these days, your poetry is so full of the range of emotions that beset us in the midst of such sudden and awful change! Just when I thought I “had it all together” at 78, I am reminded again that we never get to stop. We’re always called forward, sometimes jerked there unceremoniously! I’m so glad that I’ve found you! Thank you so much for following White Hair Grace, too!! Part of “being in this together.” We shall feed each other.

    Liked by 1 person

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