He stays up all night
With a cow giving birth
Looks after poddy calves for all he is worth
Happiness inhabiting his soul
As he murmurs
To small bony heads
Big brown eyes
And spindly legs
That run to meet the one
Who offers sustenance
He’ll spend his day
Praying for rain
For the herd he loves
Almost more than family
They’re less trouble
And quiet
As he moves amongst their warm, hairy hides
He knows what they’re thinking
There isn’t a beast
He can’t fathom
Nor hasn’t
Seen their ilk before
It runs in his veins
This cow lore
To cattlemen there is no chore
In
Separating
Moving
Working
Choosing
Who leaves
And who stays
Who is put away
In the freezer
These things would be difficult for some
Yet his face is stoic
Perhaps he is numb
He sends some away in a road train
Watches them leave
Red tail lights glowing
Through a shroud of dust
The sound of their lurching feet
Banging and rocking with the motion of the truck
He has done his job
Got the mob off to sale
In good order
…..
The juxtaposition
Of this deep devotion
The
Caring
And raising
Does it tear at him?
Does a
Mixed formaldehyde of emotion
Rise
Preserve
A war within?
It’s always been
perhaps mercifully
Lost on him
The irony that is
Sharing his beloved well cared for herd
To the meatworks
The butcher
The customer
A strange parallel
To consider
Something I did
A long time ago
But I don’t have to make a living from it
…..
And it paid for my boarding school fees and all my childhood necessities so I won’t ignore that the blood of the beast hasn’t helped me a long way to what I am.
But theses parallels the loving and the slaughter – how could a poet not try (and fail) to untangle it
In other ironic circumstances – I have been catching mice in traps all week – and feeling slightly victorious about it (they make a huge mess) then one (smells like 10) died under my dishwasher and the smell is appalling – I’m so annoyed that it died in the wrong place and I can’t easily get back there to retrieve it so for the moment we are at a “stalemate” and it is truly stale.
Karma is a bitch.
Onwards towards Christmas we romp – I’ve done all the present buying and wrapping – my husband as usual will smile serenely when thanked on Christmas morning for his thoughtful gift by his mother 🙄😁 I actually love doing it so it’s not a bother.
Oh and I have an excellent present for him – one he couldn’t possibly imagine and you guys can have a crack at it if you like – if you get it right I’ll …
Um say “well done”
