When you feel disconnected from everything and everyone
They are making you anxious
They are making you sad
They are making you furious
They are
Not the problem
Never the problem
Please know that nothing out there can disturb you
Unless
You are suffering from internal disconnection to your source
Which is great
Because if we ourselves, are both the problem
And the solution
To our own emotional state
Then we can heal what is one of the biggest problems in relationships
See
Other people are our mirrors
We can only see in them
What we are feeling in ourselves
We mistake it for something coming from them
It’s not
We are looking in a mirror
And seeing a problem
But it is coming from within
For example (I struggle with this)
We worry about our grown children
And we think it is love
But really we are projecting our own emotional states and insecurities
Our histories
Our past
On to who they are
And then thinking they will react in the same way
Or a certain way
Or any way
And it’s wrong
They are their own people
And we cannot project
Protect
And provide for everything that will come up along their way
We can only stay
On our side
Travel our own path
Reach out now and then
Ask “are you okay”
And if they need help
Provide
When
And If
They ask
Not think it is our task to get in their way
And fix things that aren’t broken
Our marriages and partnerships
Are exactly the same
Sometimes when we feel anxious or afraid
We become disconnected from source energy
Pull further and further away
As the disconnection makes us increasingly uneasy
Our partner walks in
And suddenly it’s all about him
Or her
And if it wasn’t
it soon will be
because if we are unconscious to what the real problem is
Our internal disconnection
Then that storm will spill out
All over our loved ones and they will react
When in fact
It could all have been prevented
If we had just taken ourselves off to breathe and reestablish
Our own connection to source
I’ve been working hard on this in the last few months since I had the realisation that I was creating my own problems.
It was empowering to realise but difficult to put into practice at first.
There are no problems with other people in the world except the ones that we create (or hold on to long after their internal state has led them to lash out or react to us in some way.)
It’s a difficult concept to explain but I know it’s true – that every single projection is false – because it is coming from something you think
Imagine
Speculate
And not what is actually occurring in the other person
People are very very deep and what shows on the surface is only the tip of an iceberg running a long way down
You may say “I know my son my partner my daughter and how they will react” not true and if you had someone following you around and constantly predicting your thoughts for you it would fast become infuriating.
It’s been a habit of mine in the past
This assuming
And projecting
While thinking I’m protecting
But I’m working on it.
And I’m so very happy to have made this connection between inner and outer worlds and projections because it is improving my relationships – I am happier, less worried – simply because I no longer feel the need to control or be concerned about anyone else
How can I try to change or control something that is not real?
When reality presents itself and asks for help
Then I can step up
Until then
Not my circus – not my monkeys 🐒
Yes I slip up and fall into old habits at times
But they are getting fewer
Thoughts? Do you do this – do you understand what I mean or do you have another perspective on this situation?
Come back to me in the comments and let me know – it’s a good conversation to have.
And transformative if like me you have a worrying tendency
To worry about your loved ones
