When you feel disconnected from everything and everyone

They are making you anxious

They are making you sad

They are making you furious

They are

Not the problem

Never the problem

Please know that nothing out there can disturb you

Unless

You are suffering from internal disconnection to your source

Which is great

Because if we ourselves, are both the problem

And the solution

To our own emotional state

Then we can heal what is one of the biggest problems in relationships

See

Other people are our mirrors

We can only see in them

What we are feeling in ourselves

We mistake it for something coming from them

It’s not

We are looking in a mirror

And seeing a problem

But it is coming from within

For example (I struggle with this)

We worry about our grown children

And we think it is love

But really we are projecting our own emotional states and insecurities

Our histories

Our past

On to who they are

And then thinking they will react in the same way

Or a certain way

Or any way

And it’s wrong

They are their own people

And we cannot project

Protect

And provide for everything that will come up along their way

We can only stay

On our side

Travel our own path

Reach out now and then

Ask “are you okay”

And if they need help

Provide

When

And If

They ask

Not think it is our task to get in their way

And fix things that aren’t broken

Our marriages and partnerships

Are exactly the same

Sometimes when we feel anxious or afraid

We become disconnected from source energy

Pull further and further away

As the disconnection makes us increasingly uneasy

Our partner walks in

And suddenly it’s all about him

Or her

And if it wasn’t

it soon will be

because if we are unconscious to what the real problem is

Our internal disconnection

Then that storm will spill out

All over our loved ones and they will react

When in fact

It could all have been prevented

If we had just taken ourselves off to breathe and reestablish

Our own connection to source

 

 

I’ve been working hard on this in the last few months since I had the realisation that I was creating my own problems.

It was empowering to realise but difficult to put into practice at first.

There are no problems with other people in the world except the ones that we create (or hold on to long after their internal state has led them to lash out or react to us in some way.)

It’s a difficult concept to explain but I know it’s true – that every single projection is false – because it is coming from something you think

Imagine

Speculate

And not what is actually occurring in the other person

People are very very deep and what shows on the surface is only the tip of an iceberg running a long way down

You may say “I know my son my partner my daughter and how they will react” not true and if you had someone following you around and constantly predicting your thoughts for you it would fast become infuriating.

It’s been a habit of mine in the past

This assuming

And projecting

While thinking I’m protecting

But I’m working on it.

And I’m so very happy to have made this connection between inner and outer worlds and projections because it is improving my relationships – I am happier, less worried – simply because I no longer feel the need to control or be concerned about anyone else

How can I try to change or control something that is not real?

When reality presents itself and asks for help

Then I can step up

Until then

Not my circus – not my monkeys 🐒

Yes I slip up and fall into old habits at times

But they are getting fewer

Thoughts? Do you do this – do you understand what I mean or do you have another perspective on this situation?

Come back to me in the comments and let me know – it’s a good conversation to have.

And transformative if like me you have a worrying tendency

To worry about your loved ones