When you feel disconnected from everything and everyone
They are making you anxious
They are making you sad
They are making you furious
Not the problem
Never the problem
Please know that nothing out there can disturb you
You are suffering from internal disconnection to your source
Which is great
Because if we ourselves, are both the problem
And the solution
To our own emotional state
Then we can heal what is one of the biggest problems in relationships
Other people are our mirrors
We can only see in them
What we are feeling in ourselves
We mistake it for something coming from them
We are looking in a mirror
And seeing a problem
But it is coming from within
For example (I struggle with this)
We worry about our grown children
And we think it is love
But really we are projecting our own emotional states and insecurities
On to who they are
And then thinking they will react in the same way
Or a certain way
Or any way
And it’s wrong
They are their own people
And we cannot project
And provide for everything that will come up along their way
We can only stay
On our side
Travel our own path
Reach out now and then
Ask “are you okay”
And if they need help
Not think it is our task to get in their way
And fix things that aren’t broken
Our marriages and partnerships
Are exactly the same
Sometimes when we feel anxious or afraid
We become disconnected from source energy
Pull further and further away
As the disconnection makes us increasingly uneasy
Our partner walks in
And suddenly it’s all about him
And if it wasn’t
it soon will be
because if we are unconscious to what the real problem is
Our internal disconnection
Then that storm will spill out
All over our loved ones and they will react
When in fact
It could all have been prevented
If we had just taken ourselves off to breathe and reestablish
Our own connection to source
I’ve been working hard on this in the last few months since I had the realisation that I was creating my own problems.
It was empowering to realise but difficult to put into practice at first.
There are no problems with other people in the world except the ones that we create (or hold on to long after their internal state has led them to lash out or react to us in some way.)
It’s a difficult concept to explain but I know it’s true – that every single projection is false – because it is coming from something you think
And not what is actually occurring in the other person
People are very very deep and what shows on the surface is only the tip of an iceberg running a long way down
You may say “I know my son my partner my daughter and how they will react” not true and if you had someone following you around and constantly predicting your thoughts for you it would fast become infuriating.
It’s been a habit of mine in the past
While thinking I’m protecting
But I’m working on it.
And I’m so very happy to have made this connection between inner and outer worlds and projections because it is improving my relationships – I am happier, less worried – simply because I no longer feel the need to control or be concerned about anyone else
How can I try to change or control something that is not real?
When reality presents itself and asks for help
Then I can step up
Not my circus – not my monkeys 🐒
Yes I slip up and fall into old habits at times
But they are getting fewer
Thoughts? Do you do this – do you understand what I mean or do you have another perspective on this situation?
Come back to me in the comments and let me know – it’s a good conversation to have.
And transformative if like me you have a worrying tendency
To worry about your loved ones
9 thoughts on “Internal storms”
I can completely relate to this, and staying away from the main social media sites has helped me tremendously. I used to worry about the things that weren’t being said on there, more than the things that were. Now I just don’t look, and then I’m not worried in the least. I am finding inner peace by getting rid of all the extra noise. But sometimes I have my moments, where I want to take a quick peak, and then the worry starts all over again. I’m doing better though, and it’s been almost a year now since I’ve gotten rid of the extra noise.
Completely agree. I blew up my old Instagram account that had a heap of followers and created a new one that is just family. I stay away from Facebook and the peace and quiet has enhanced both my mental health and my creativity. Being too much in touch with the world dilutes us.
It really does, and I think many of us are slowly but surely figuring that out. I don’t even have an Instagram for family anymore. It’s just too much of a temptation for me to be on my phone all the time. I never get anything else done! It was hard giving up so many followers though, especially on Twitter where I had a few thousand. I miss the interaction, and occasionally I have those old feelings of regret for deleting those accounts. But at the same time, I see how much less drama I have in my life now and I know it’s for the best.
The time vampire is the thing. So much distraction!
This is beautifully written. Life takes thought and careful consideration at all times doesn’t it……it can feel rather overwhelming. My partner Jase and I have a habit of checking in as soon as we walk in the door. We sit across from one another on stools and share our looping thoughts from the day. We share any strong emotions that came up etc. It creates so much harmony in our relationship and takes the pressure off each of us.
That sounds like a wonderful relationship strategy and what a great process to go through together – that’s the thing in this world where so many men have been taught one set of rules and women another – we have to come together as earthlings and humans and just be compassionate and thoughtful of one another’s struggles.
I understand what you mean about projection. We fear the same things happening to our kids that we sometimes forget it’s their life to lead. I’m working on this feat, and I find it’s so difficult to actually pull off.
Very difficult – one of my biggest hurdles to get over worrying about those I love
I suppose all we can do is be aware and to try to do better.