You were my first friend
You held my hand
And loved me
Just the way I was
Through the years
Your shadow and mine
Always got along
Even if our heads collided at times
Last year when you told me you had cancer
All I could think
Was I can’t live without her
In that moment
All of our long conversations
Our connection
I imagined a life
Without you on the end of my line
Where I couldn’t just reach out
Say hi
What’s going on
Offload mine
Download yours
Knowing all along that I was speaking with that one solid person
Who always has my back
My hand
You are such a great part of my strength
If that was gone
You were gone
The birds ceased to sing
And a dark ripple fell over the land
But we got over that bit
And we laughed and chatted our way through your chemo
Found new things to discuss
Forged deeper ties
And now you’ve pulled through just fine
But that moment
When you told me
It hangs in my mind
A not quite pulled closed curtain
And through it always peeks
This huge golden ray of sunshine and warmth
All the ways that I love you
Nothing like having something almost snatched away
To not take it for granted
Ever again
Not even for a second.
If you hadn’t guessed the picture up the top is of my sister and I laughing – we do that a lot.
Sending out some love to my sister today. Because she is pretty damn great.
A bit of history on our relationship
Bindi was the first to wax my eyebrows and pluck them
I was about 10 I think – Yeah I didn’t let anyone touch my eyebrows again until I was well past thirty
The wax was too hot
The tweezers hurt and made me sneeze and I walked around for a month looking very surprised
It was probably punishment for when I was younger – I gave her barbie doll a haircut – thought it would grow back
It didn’t
When she came home on Friday I was terrified
We shared a room
She was a tidy freak – I used to like to bring home birds nests and interesting sticks
I had stacks of books
It didn’t work out well
She used to steal my books to make me do chores
Just swipe them out from under my nose whilst I was reading – it drove me insane – 0-160 on the anger meter
She looked after us all when Mum was in hospital
I relied on her advice heavily
I loved her so much sometimes if I looked across the room and saw her I would get choked up
She used to pick me up and take me out from boarding school – Bindi is seven years older than me so she was always way cooler and I was always hurrying trying to catch up to her age
Once I hit 18 it didn’t matter and we just sort of became the same age anyway
She introduced me to food that wasn’t meat and three veg – you know like Chinese and stuff – always mind blowing
I was a worrier like a really annoying worrier – she never yelled at me for it – always kind (slightly frustrated at times but kind)
I think she loves me a lot too
Other news..
Updates – I opened a second hand online book store – selling of some of my enormous collection – think it may be a failure but that’s okay- it is just a way to sell my own books and actually keep them company while I’m doing so – once I’ve sold all the printed copies of my books it can be shut down
I don’t think I’m a highly motivated book seller – I’m overly attached to my books
Not my books that I’ve written though oh hell no – buy them, the links are on a page in here somewhere
I’m still calling myself a bookstore owner though – always wanted to run a book store
On the subject of books – I finished my first novel
It does not suck! I’m really happy with it – a few tidy ups and then off to the professional editor
I am already full of ideas for its sequel
Facebook – sigh
Taking my craft to Facebook is proving an onerous task – I don’t like Facebook much – I will give it a month and also try and improve my thoughts about it – maybe it’s awful because I think it’s awful
…maybe it just jolly well awful
Anyway – that’s my update – I’m rather on top of the world right now – hopefully I have injected some of that into this post and you are smiling
If you’re not smiling just fake it
It will give you an endorphins hit
The body doesn’t know the difference remember ..
Now I’m imagining big cheesy grins – see it’s working – don’t you feel happier? Yes
Excellent
Continue with that for the day 😘
