To my first friend, my best friend, my second mother and now we mother each other

You were my first friend

You held my hand

And loved me

Just the way I was

Through the years

Your shadow and mine

Always got along

Even if our heads collided at times

Last year when you told me you had cancer

All I could think

Was I can’t live without her

In that moment

All of our long conversations

Our connection

I imagined a life

Without you on the end of my line

Where I couldn’t just reach out

Say hi

What’s going on

Offload mine

Download yours

Knowing all along that I was speaking with that one solid person

Who always has my back

My hand

You are such a great part of my strength

If that was gone

You were gone

The birds ceased to sing

And a dark ripple fell over the land

But we got over that bit

And we laughed and chatted our way through your chemo

Found new things to discuss

Forged deeper ties

And now you’ve pulled through just fine

But that moment

When you told me

It hangs in my mind

A not quite pulled closed curtain

And through it always peeks

This huge golden ray of sunshine and warmth

All the ways that I love you

Nothing like having something almost snatched away

To not take it for granted

Ever again

Not even for a second.

If you hadn’t guessed the picture up the top is of my sister and I laughing – we do that a lot.

Sending out some love to my sister today. Because she is pretty damn great.

A bit of history on our relationship

Bindi was the first to wax my eyebrows and pluck them

I was about 10 I think – Yeah I didn’t let anyone touch my eyebrows again until I was well past thirty

The wax was too hot

The tweezers hurt and made me sneeze and I walked around for a month looking very surprised

It was probably punishment for when I was younger – I gave her barbie doll a haircut – thought it would grow back

It didn’t

When she came home on Friday I was terrified

We shared a room

She was a tidy freak – I used to like to bring home birds nests and interesting sticks

I had stacks of books

It didn’t work out well

She used to steal my books to make me do chores

Just swipe them out from under my nose whilst I was reading – it drove me insane – 0-160 on the anger meter

She looked after us all when Mum was in hospital

I relied on her advice heavily

I loved her so much sometimes if I looked across the room and saw her I would get choked up

She used to pick me up and take me out from boarding school – Bindi is seven years older than me so she was always way cooler and I was always hurrying trying to catch up to her age

Once I hit 18 it didn’t matter and we just sort of became the same age anyway

She introduced me to food that wasn’t meat and three veg – you know like Chinese and stuff – always mind blowing

I was a worrier like a really annoying worrier – she never yelled at me for it – always kind (slightly frustrated at times but kind)

I think she loves me a lot too

Other news..

Updates – I opened a second hand online book store – selling of some of my enormous collection – think it may be a failure but that’s okay- it is just a way to sell my own books and actually keep them company while I’m doing so – once I’ve sold all the printed copies of my books it can be shut down

I don’t think I’m a highly motivated book seller – I’m overly attached to my books

Not my books that I’ve written though oh hell no – buy them, the links are on a page in here somewhere

I’m still calling myself a bookstore owner though – always wanted to run a book store

On the subject of books – I finished my first novel

It does not suck! I’m really happy with it – a few tidy ups and then off to the professional editor

I am already full of ideas for its sequel

Facebook – sigh

Taking my craft to Facebook is proving an onerous task – I don’t like Facebook much – I will give it a month and also try and improve my thoughts about it – maybe it’s awful because I think it’s awful

…maybe it just jolly well awful

Anyway – that’s my update – I’m rather on top of the world right now – hopefully I have injected some of that into this post and you are smiling

If you’re not smiling just fake it

It will give you an endorphins hit

The body doesn’t know the difference remember ..

Now I’m imagining big cheesy grins – see it’s working – don’t you feel happier? Yes


Continue with that for the day ๐Ÿ˜˜

20 thoughts on “To my first friend, my best friend, my second mother and now we mother each other

  1. Beautiful. I really hope she is beating it and know you will help her through. My brother is and and always will be my best friend, there is nothing quite like family.

  2. Beautiful expression of love. And you had me grinning. And arrggg is all I can say about FB. I love this โฃ๏ธ๐Ÿ’• ps Iโ€™m a twin and have an older sister. Family is everything

  3. I almost peed my pants at “I walked around for a month looking very surprised”…..I can so picture it!
    CONGRATS ON FINISHING YOUR NOVEL AND FOR BEING PLEASED WITH IT!!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ That makes me happiest of all. Also, way to go on the book store, a wonderful start to a new adventure, of that I’m sure.

    • Iโ€™m a terrible book store owner Mare – have you ever seen โ€œblack booksโ€ and I know that should be capitals – if not google it and watch a show on Utube or something – Iโ€™m like Bernard without the cigarettes and wine (because I quit the more interesting parts of my persona) I donโ€™t actually want to sell my books (not the ones Iโ€™ve written the other ones) so someone buys some and Iโ€™m like oh bloody hell suppose I will wrap it up and send it then hmph ๐Ÿ˜‘ ๐Ÿ˜‚ not really – but a little unmotivated – love the idea of a bookstore though ๐Ÿ˜ƒ and they keep the books I have written company so… all good then.

  4. I love this. I too love you & your sister. Best sister in-laws to have. Being we are all leoโ€™s
    I also have 4 sisters that I truely lean on at times. Love them all.
    Thanks for the smiles this morning Xx

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