I awoke worried
By a fiend of my brain
Figment of imagination
It cast no shadow as I turned on the light
Nor ever will
These things which make us fret
Toss and turn
Tumbling heartbeats in our sleep
Are not real
To reach out a hand is to smite a ghost
The only head that dents the pillow is mine
And I am reminded
The power of the mind
Good or evil
It gives breath to mere shadows
But I can take it back
Snuff out an inkling like a candle by the window
Guttering
In sudden draft of common sense
If it casts no shadow
It is not real
I say it again just to ensure it is dead
These things come and go
As all things do
I conjure up a peaceful muse
And slowly
The thoughts roll over and return to slumber
As do I
Let anxious thoughts die
God knows, they deserve to
*I don’t know if I have previously published this poem or not – the trouble with scribbling things in notes and then not also noting – on the note – that I have published it – which I will do now. M
y apologies if it has been previously published, you would think I would recall but I usually forget my poems as soon as they are written. That’s why I write them after all, to get them out of my head. Obviously I do a jolly good job of it.
When I had to recite one of my poems for a slam poetry competition – it took me ages to learn it. Why? I wrote it, you would think something which sprang from my own mind would be recalled easily enough. Not so.
Enter into evidence exhibit A the shopping list – without one I’m lost.
Anyway…
I’m particularly short of time and clarity at present. Not in the headspace to write, as life has seeped into all the corners of mind and left me without my usual comfy spot to retire to and scribble.
Travelling today, probably on the road by the time you read this. Off to the nearest city for an appointment with a specialist to check my skin. Routine only, once a year and I haven’t seen anything of concern. Mind you without my glasses on I can’t see much so, perhaps it’s a good idea.
My main concern will be disrobing in a cold room and having photos taken, front, side, back. “Hold arms up, turn leg out, yep now other one” and on and on it goes. It’s so they can be compared to last years set of photos – to note any changes. Bloody hell, last year I had a lovely nurse and hammed it up posing and laughing as she snapped away – that’s the thing with humour, you can pull it on like a cape of invisibility, mine covered me (and her) for an awkward few moments. Not in the mood this year. So there’s the first change that will be noted – lack of humour pffffffft.
Plenty of drama this week. A scammer that is being fixed through Telstra. An official letter to be handed to a dodgy tenant – tomorrow morning on my way no less.
Nothing like a bit of confrontation straight up after your morning coffee.
And there’s other things. But I don’t want to bore you when you’ve managed to read all the way through this paltry post to here.
Some weeks are terribly yuck. But they are made more so when I’ve lost my humour. At least I will get to see my sister and niece. So there’s that.
And who knows maybe I’ll pick up some humour along the way. I might listen to a funny podcast. Are there any to be had? I haven’t heard of any. Shall Google and let you know.
Have a great day, don’t mind me. The southerly blew in a chilly bit of gloom I believe, but winds change and sunshine gets stronger, everything passes.
