What’s your story?
Mine changes
When I was young
I was the daughter of graziers – my story, my life – I was a bush child and so proud to be from the land
I grew older
And a wonderful man asked to marry me
I must have said the word “fiancée” one hundred thousand times that year
Then wife
Then mother – the best one yet!
Then I lost mine and my father six months apart
They were sick
Mum in particular – Alzheimer’s – dreadful
But let’s skip that part
It
Was
Dark
Then I was sober although I never was a drunk
Just temporarily, a seeker of an alleviating state of mind
Something that pressed pause – instead of rewind
And eventually I threw away the deck altogether
And found it a place to nest in amongst all the other stories in my chest
And the narrator became just Kate again because that’s what sober does – it helps you find yourself
I was a slam poet briefly
A photographer
(Nothing really rhymes with that so we’ll move along)
Because so many other stories spring to mind
As I began to find a fresh joy in being alive
Adventurer
Artist
Runner
Yogi
Writer
Poet
Motor bike rider
Blogger
Vegan – more plant based perhaps but what’s a diet? I’d been paleo and even keto for awhile before that and before either of those things became popular
Runner again
And of course stories keep repeating – increasingly as we get older
So
Enough about me – what about you?
When asked what we do
Where we are from
What matters
Who is who and what’s what and what are the connections a person has got
What do you say
Is it faith?
A particular God to whom you pray
What’s your story?
In the main – a whole book or just this chapter
Describe yourself in the one word that matters
Drug addict
Thief
Prostitute
Housewife
Cook
Wilderness exolorer
Hunter
Mother
Father
Daughter
Grandparent
What?
What do you think of all these topics –
Roles
Issues
Others
Do you drag ghosts from the past
Trundle along with a suitcase full of all the harm that has befallen you?
Do you have grudges?
Ideals
Hero’s
Saints
What memories does your mind paint
When you are alone
In pain
Suffering
Remorse
Guilt
Trauma
What comes back to haunt you
Dogging your footsteps?
What do you wish you could leave behind
Bury
Where nobody ever finds it
What mistakes do you trip over every time you lift a foot
Things you wish you could just let go of and forget
What makes you happy
Heart rising in your chest
Which people light you up
When you see them
Hold them
Which ones do you miss?
What’s your story?
And what would you say
If I said
Now
Forget all that
It’s yesterday’s
Last nights
Two hours ago
The moment has flown
Why hold onto it
Hell/heaven
It’s just a story
But it’s mine! I hear you calling
Is it?
What if what you’re holding
Is holding you
Back
Like some precious rocks that you found
Growing larger
Heavier
In your pockets
Turn them inside out
Watch those memories fall to the ground
And walk away
Because this moment is fresh
Take a deep breath
Every day we are remade
Don’t hold onto old stories
Create
Create
Anew
We are soon forgotten
Why not forget
And renew
Browser
Refresh
Whilst we are still here
To begin again
And create new stories
Everyday
*Whew yahoo! That came tumbling out – life is a box of chocolates – I’m currently still off sugar but who needs it!!!
Life is so wonderfully bigger
Runners endorphins – off on a giggle in the sunshine – enjoy your day lovely people and whoever you are and whatever you’ve done – proud or dejected
Remember
You can choose a different story
I believe I’ve neglected the actually point of where this “story” thing evolved
If you’re still reading…
Thanks – I will attempt to be brief
So running is hard. It hurts. And little parts hurt individually.
And at different times
The ankle starts to whine
A calf muscle
Thighs
Anyway – this is all going on
And you have a choice
Ignore it
Or start a story about it
Like Oh my God what if my calf muscle tears – what if this chafe turns into deep wounds that scar me for life – what if my legs are so tired that I am actually inflicting permanent damage – is it okay to run 10 km, 25 Km per day – am I mad?
And on and on
And you learn – if you don’t make a story about it – things go away
They just fade and another thing takes its place and that’s fine because you don’t hold onto that either
And eventually the endorphins kick in
And you write a far too wordy WordPress blog post about it
And nobody has time to read it all the way to the bottom
But that doesn’t matter either
Because there is no need to write a story about it for anyone to read it
Nothing is that important – drop it and move on
Seth Godin asks “what’s your top story?” Because whatever you are leading with is what is informing your life right now. His (much shorter post then mine here.
And that can be a huge problem if what is informing your story right now, is some toxic, sad, morose tale that you have been dragging along for years.
Truly – time to drop it.
And this is disconcerting (to my writerly self) and immensely freeing to the little part of me that maintains a massive storage filing system
Nothing matters – how zen!
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Header photo – chair – abandoned building in an odd little shack that used to be an overnight inn/pub (I think that is what Dad mentioned it was when we stopped there so I could take photos) for bullock teams on the Cunnamulla Bollon road. The stories this place could tell.
If you’re a sucker for punishment and want to read more here’s a post from January https://athousandbitsofpaper.com/2020/01/24/do-it-like-it-is-part-of-the-dance/
And here are a few more photos of that place as a reminder that …stories have a life and a death and there isn’t need to continue to carry them if they don’t serve you.
