Why must the balance of joy
Be pain so wide and so deep
I cannot hold it?
Not everyones
At least .
They must carry some
How do I only eat my portion?
When if I could solve this mess by taking it all I would.
But if I take their pain
I may also steal their joy
And I wouldn’t want that.
Limbo
Is
So
Difficult
*I don’t know if I will post this – perhaps it helps others I don’t know. It helped me to write my way through it. To glean the wisdom from the choke of poison
It’s ironic that I have been thinking so much about balance lately. Levelling. Reckoning. Accepting the totality of life. The good, the bad. I had thought myself all over this subject matter. Personally at least. And because of my cockiness, the universe delivered me a snap test.
Here I sit. Typing, writing, trying to rid myself of the tension and racing thoughts
Because that is my job, I hold us all together
But maybe it isn’t my job. I just think it is.
When you try and take anothers pain, you may also steal their joy and forthcoming wisdom
I wouldn’t have become who I am, a little bit wiser for each time pain stole my joy and replaced it with a lesson.
Frankly, I prefer the lesson, it’s real and true and lasts. Wisdom is not easily stolen the way that joy is, nor as readily transferred to some other emotional state. Learning lays foundations that become unshakeable and solid later in life
Perhaps that is why in our youth, we are given so much pain, so many lessons, so much struggle in order to overcome, transcend and learn
So perhaps I will just get out of the road, let this ball go through to the keeper
Header photo: mine, the sun is huge and burning as it rises. I took it this morning, didn’t realise it was a warning. The early sun was filtered through soft fog, which is why I was able to capture it in all its intensity.
Truth is like that. It burns like the sun, sometimes we need to filter it through softer emotions and words, like the gentle fog. In order to look at it, handle it, without it burning our eyes out. Truth and difficult discussions need to be softened, distilled, refined.
I try.
