Why have I come back?
Well let’s not put the cart before the horse
Why did I shut down the blog in the first place?
Which took me awhile to fully understand myself
Short answer?
Because I hate failing
And I was failing – or felt I was
I lacked the courage and intestinal fortitude to go on failing
So I flipped the switch to private and didn’t come back – for two years.
But you know what – it’s damned difficult to stop paying for a WordPress blog – I know I tried to cancel my subscription a few times without result and the fact that I couldn’t cancel and kept paying for it began to irk me
A lot
So now the question
Why have I reopened the blog?
Apart from the fact that if I’m not using it and have to pay for it well…
But there is a bigger answer and a deeper compulsion
I have realised that if I walk away from writing because I fear failure
Or rather if I fail to publish my writing
Because I fear failure
Then I have no future with writing
And the thing is – I desperately want a future with writing
Seth Godins podcast on the matter was an “aha” moment
To get better at anything we have to fail
Learning to walk involves a series of failures – if as toddlers we had been so harsh as to say “you look like an idiot – stop failing”
We would never walk
Learning anything – requires a series of failures
So I saw that in order to write
I had to brave enough to fail
Spectacularly
Embarrassingly
And on a daily basis if necessary
It may not even look like failure to an observer
But it doesn’t matter how your failure looks to someone else – it only matters how it feels inside
And with writing – it doesn’t matter what you write about (and this blog will continue to be a compilation of just whatever is on my mind each day)
But rather that you simply write
And do so fearlessly and truthfully and continue
That’s key
The continuing bit
So I continue

