Why have I come back?
Well let’s not put the cart before the horse
Why did I shut down the blog in the first place?
Which took me awhile to fully understand myself
Short answer?
Because I hate failing
And I was failing – or felt I was
I lacked the courage and intestinal fortitude to go on failing
So I flipped the switch to private and didn’t come back – for two years.
But you know what – it’s damned difficult to stop paying for a WordPress blog – I know I tried to cancel my subscription a few times without result and the fact that I couldn’t cancel and kept paying for it began to irk me
A lot
So now the question
Why have I reopened the blog?
Apart from the fact that if I’m not using it and have to pay for it well…
But there is a bigger answer and a deeper compulsion
I have realised that if I walk away from writing because I fear failure
Or rather if I fail to publish my writing
Because I fear failure
Then I have no future with writing
And the thing is – I desperately want a future with writing
Seth Godins podcast on the matter was an “aha” moment
To get better at anything we have to fail
Learning to walk involves a series of failures – if as toddlers we had been so harsh as to say “you look like an idiot – stop failing”
We would never walk
Learning anything – requires a series of failures
So I saw that in order to write
I had to brave enough to fail
Spectacularly
Embarrassingly
And on a daily basis if necessary
It may not even look like failure to an observer
But it doesn’t matter how your failure looks to someone else – it only matters how it feels inside
And with writing – it doesn’t matter what you write about (and this blog will continue to be a compilation of just whatever is on my mind each day)
But rather that you simply write
And do so fearlessly and truthfully and continue
That’s key
The continuing bit
So I continue

Welcome back. I also have returned from an online dry spell, writing in the background and feeling as though it was not quite good enough to publish but still writing it anyway.
If you are as stubborn as me then don’t consider it failing it just takes a new angle.
I am happiest when I write so … I’m not going to overthink it anymore – WordPress is such a lovely community – it’s nice to be back
You made the right choice. The fear of failure affects us all. I suffer from it even though I ravish a challenge more.
Thanks Lawrence – I think it is a universal condition and I’m so happy to be back writing and reading in blog land that I have made a promise to myself to try not to get in that head space again.
Indeed. Never give up!
👍🏾😊
Haha, interestingly enough, I find this post a week after I made my blog private. I’m still in the process of collecting the strength to get up, walk and fall again so it’ll be a while before I come back, but yeah, till then, I’ll be reading.
😊😊😊
I think sometimes we need a break and then – if it’s meant to be – we circle back around but with new perspective and energy and begin again 😊
Reblogged this on Momentary Lapse Of Sanity.
Thankyou!