Why have I come back?

Well let’s not put the cart before the horse

Why did I shut down the blog in the first place?

Which took me awhile to fully understand myself

Short answer?

Because I hate failing

And I was failing – or felt I was

I lacked the courage and intestinal fortitude to go on failing

So I flipped the switch to private and didn’t come back – for two years.

But you know what – it’s damned difficult to stop paying for a WordPress blog – I know I tried to cancel my subscription a few times without result and the fact that I couldn’t cancel and kept paying for it began to irk me

A lot

So now the question

Why have I reopened the blog?

Apart from the fact that if I’m not using it and have to pay for it well…

But there is a bigger answer and a deeper compulsion

I have realised that if I walk away from writing because I fear failure

Or rather if I fail to publish my writing

Because I fear failure

Then I have no future with writing

And the thing is – I desperately want a future with writing

Seth Godins podcast on the matter was an “aha” moment

To get better at anything we have to fail

Learning to walk involves a series of failures – if as toddlers we had been so harsh as to say “you look like an idiot – stop failing”

We would never walk

Learning anything – requires a series of failures

So I saw that in order to write

I had to brave enough to fail

Spectacularly

Embarrassingly

And on a daily basis if necessary

It may not even look like failure to an observer

But it doesn’t matter how your failure looks to someone else – it only matters how it feels inside

And with writing – it doesn’t matter what you write about (and this blog will continue to be a compilation of just whatever is on my mind each day)

But rather that you simply write

And do so fearlessly and truthfully and continue

That’s key

The continuing bit

So I continue