Half of my life (if I’m lucky, and I tend to think that with the better health choices I make – the luckier I become) is over.
I don’t feel fifty and kind people tell me, I don’t look it either
My exterior has changed a little but it’s the interior that has shifted drastically and that territory cannot be seen
Just felt
Some people don’t like the way I write – all spaced out – “it feels jagged and discombobulating”. I’m sorry, I do not care, because I write the way I think. Sometimes tightly woven and sometimes spare, spaced out and block like.
Writing becomes a simple process when you follow your own natural rhythms and style. Life (which usually mirrors our thoughts and writing) becomes more enjoyable too.
It is one of the great benefits of growing older. Though not everyone will find this benefit, because they are still mired in a cycle which keeps them trapped in worrying about what others think.
It’s completely understandable of course.
If no one likes my style of writing/blog content, I won’t have readers
True
And yet
I love the blogs I follow and every single one of them are unique and unrepeatable.
Blogs are our personal mirror, which we turn and face the world as we post.
Writers block largely occurs when the edit button is stuck down – the screen is black, the words won’t come. We have to release the self edit button.
“Write something at least”, I tell myself, I can always edit later (but don’t do it before the words are even out of the box).
I find it dreadfully hard to begin again after a long break. “Why is this relevant?” I query. “Who wants to read this?” and time and again my inner scribe lumbers (with great difficulty) over my ego until a few posts are once again “out there” and I am moving forward again.
If I didn’t begin – I wouldn’t continue. It is okay to step back, but at some point you have to step up again. Or fold and collapse into a black hole that will chew on your chest into the future.
Have you noticed how terribly fake social media has become? Main stream media as well, if we are going there. It is not a place to go to receive truth and authenticity.
I mainly turn to social media to get thermomix recipes and hiking destination inspro. Yet even that has waned to a 5 second glance on the way past.
I have been spending my scarce and therefore precious attention, on enjoying online communities such as this one and my DDD community (more on that in another post) instead. Or I’m deep in books that crank open my wonderment factor a little.
What we read is who we are. What we write is also.
Authenticity in writing, is the cornerstone to being authentic in life. Journalling in particular leads to a certain unshakeable self knowledge. So much crap is out of the way and already dealt with before you speak or otherwise communicate with someone. Much of yourself is dealt with. You arrive at a conversation fresh and present.
I have heard entire family histories, the feuds and the love triangles, stances on politics and vaccinations, whilst hiking on a day hike amongst people previously unknown to me. Fascinating gold to the curious mind.
The conversation is direct and real. Sometimes this is shocking to other people. I am never mean or untactful, I am direct, yet I’ve seen the backflips going on behind someone’s eyes. But we quickly to get to the good stuff. The real stuff. I have enjoyed thoroughly satisfying and deep connective conversations over a pedicure or while standing in line with a complete stranger as we bond over a love of doughnuts, or other such things.
The brevity of the encounter is not important – it is the depth which matters. I carry some very odd. yet vivid random threads in my broader pattern of life, and I value them.
I believe as humans, we are thirsty for real, for authentic, for connection. Not this rubbish that is tossed out to provide broad circles of spatter that lacks individual appeal, or any sort of depth and meaning.
We have to be individuals to be distinguished from the beige and murky blur which society is in danger of becoming.
Which is why WordPress and blogging is integral. It is why I enjoy reading personal blogs that are discussing fairly day to day issues with flair and humour or pathos or even anger. Real emotions, real people.
Some of the most insightful moments in my day come from a heartfelt comment or blog post, and it’s sad that everyone doesn’t have this opportunity. Or rather, doesn’t use it due to ignorance, or their own barriers. Blog land is an obscure place that sadly, many people never set eyes upon.
The header picture is a massive pile of wattle blossom which my husband picked for me on his way home from work yesterday evening.
It would have been his usual long day, he leaves in the dark and gets home in the dark at the moment. Yet he stopped to pick wattle because he knows I love it. Thoughtfulness is a deeply attractive trait. When we put it out there, it comes back in spades and is sort of what this rambly post was about.
A sincere thank you, for all the thoughtful comments, reposts and wonderful posts, it made my return so much easier than it otherwise could have been.
Have a thought full day ✨
