Asides and Authenticity

Half of my life (if I’m lucky, and I tend to think that with the better health choices I make – the luckier I become) is over.

I don’t feel fifty and kind people tell me, I don’t look it either

My exterior has changed a little but it’s the interior that has shifted drastically and that territory cannot be seen

Just felt

Some people don’t like the way I write – all spaced out – “it feels jagged and discombobulating”. I’m sorry, I do not care, because I write the way I think. Sometimes tightly woven and sometimes spare, spaced out and block like.

Writing becomes a simple process when you follow your own natural rhythms and style. Life (which usually mirrors our thoughts and writing) becomes more enjoyable too.

It is one of the great benefits of growing older. Though not everyone will find this benefit, because they are still mired in a cycle which keeps them trapped in worrying about what others think.

It’s completely understandable of course.

If no one likes my style of writing/blog content, I won’t have readers

True

And yet

I love the blogs I follow and every single one of them are unique and unrepeatable.

Blogs are our personal mirror, which we turn and face the world as we post.

Writers block largely occurs when the edit button is stuck down – the screen is black, the words won’t come. We have to release the self edit button.

“Write something at least”, I tell myself, I can always edit later (but don’t do it before the words are even out of the box).

I find it dreadfully hard to begin again after a long break. “Why is this relevant?” I query. “Who wants to read this?” and time and again my inner scribe lumbers (with great difficulty) over my ego until a few posts are once again “out there” and I am moving forward again.

If I didn’t begin – I wouldn’t continue. It is okay to step back, but at some point you have to step up again. Or fold and collapse into a black hole that will chew on your chest into the future.

Have you noticed how terribly fake social media has become? Main stream media as well, if we are going there. It is not a place to go to receive truth and authenticity.

I mainly turn to social media to get thermomix recipes and hiking destination inspro. Yet even that has waned to a 5 second glance on the way past.

I have been spending my scarce and therefore precious attention, on enjoying online communities such as this one and my DDD community (more on that in another post) instead. Or I’m deep in books that crank open my wonderment factor a little.

What we read is who we are. What we write is also.

Authenticity in writing, is the cornerstone to being authentic in life. Journalling in particular leads to a certain unshakeable self knowledge. So much crap is out of the way and already dealt with before you speak or otherwise communicate with someone. Much of yourself is dealt with. You arrive at a conversation fresh and present.

I have heard entire family histories, the feuds and the love triangles, stances on politics and vaccinations, whilst hiking on a day hike amongst people previously unknown to me. Fascinating gold to the curious mind.

The conversation is direct and real. Sometimes this is shocking to other people. I am never mean or untactful, I am direct, yet I’ve seen the backflips going on behind someone’s eyes. But we quickly to get to the good stuff. The real stuff. I have enjoyed thoroughly satisfying and deep connective conversations over a pedicure or while standing in line with a complete stranger as we bond over a love of doughnuts, or other such things.

The brevity of the encounter is not important – it is the depth which matters. I carry some very odd. yet vivid random threads in my broader pattern of life, and I value them.

I believe as humans, we are thirsty for real, for authentic, for connection. Not this rubbish that is tossed out to provide broad circles of spatter that lacks individual appeal, or any sort of depth and meaning.

We have to be individuals to be distinguished from the beige and murky blur which society is in danger of becoming.

Which is why WordPress and blogging is integral. It is why I enjoy reading personal blogs that are discussing fairly day to day issues with flair and humour or pathos or even anger. Real emotions, real people.

Some of the most insightful moments in my day come from a heartfelt comment or blog post, and it’s sad that everyone doesn’t have this opportunity. Or rather, doesn’t use it due to ignorance, or their own barriers. Blog land is an obscure place that sadly, many people never set eyes upon.

The header picture is a massive pile of wattle blossom which my husband picked for me on his way home from work yesterday evening.

It would have been his usual long day, he leaves in the dark and gets home in the dark at the moment. Yet he stopped to pick wattle because he knows I love it. Thoughtfulness is a deeply attractive trait. When we put it out there, it comes back in spades and is sort of what this rambly post was about.

A sincere thank you, for all the thoughtful comments, reposts and wonderful posts, it made my return so much easier than it otherwise could have been.

Have a thought full day ✨

56 thoughts on “Asides and Authenticity

  1. I, too, believe that, “as humans, we are thirsty for real, for authentic, for connection.” On the other hand, I’ve learned that we are not always open to accepting the other person’s authentic self or expression.

    • That’s very true Rosaliene and the gulf of separation between extreme left and right globally parses this lack of acceptance. However, within that diversity of opinion and within the voicing of those differing views is also occurring a cancelling, muffling and smothering of authentic voice. Which is a tragedy as without dialogue we cannot learn from one another. I don’t need to accept someone’s point of view in order to have a discussion with them and often I find that despite a difference of opinion on one subject, I often find a connection point on another subject. That’s why it’s important to continue to express what’s important to us, in a curious and diplomatic way that invites discourse rather than argument. That’s not occurring in social media and probably doesn’t even happen here either anymore – it’s a pity because I love having my mind changed

      • I agree, Kate, we don’t have to agree on everything in order to connect with each other. I’ve met some amazing individuals among our diverse WordPress global community who have expanded my vision of my adopted homeland and of our world. To date, I’ve had to regrettably end connections with three individuals who made it clear that they did not appreciate my viewpoint. It happens.

      • It is sad when people cannot find any point of connection and prefer to cling to the point of contention instead. I may not agree with peoples stance on an issue, but I can understand why they may have that stance and respect their views. I enjoy discussion as long as it is productive and respectful.

  2. I agree that my WordPress blog is something I always love to come back to and feel real connection with fellow creatives here 🙂

  3. “So much crap is out of the way and already dealt with before you speak or otherwise communicate with someone. Much of yourself is dealt with. You arrive at a conversation fresh and present.” So true!!! I’m a much better version of myself when I’ve taken the time to write out all the inner stuff, both the ugly and the beautiful.

    • I can tell now when I’m talking to someone with an overly full mind – I really wish people could feel the benefits of journalling. It’s not about creating some book for the future – I never even look back on old journals. It’s like working through a puzzle in the present moment and then moving on without all that baggage – keep journalling for sure Monty

  4. Another thoughtful piece! Sadly, I think you are right – there seems to be an upward trajectory of vacuous positioning in all media streams these days. Very little seems authentic but much sounds sanctimonious virtue-signalling. Debate and conversation soon get stifled under slogans. Perhaps I am too cynical or maybe folks thought this was when television became a mass-market thing? Hmm

    • I know for myself, I have drama fatigue. Main stream media hit my stress button so hard throughout Covid that I’m like that lab rat that has become unresponsive. Plus once you see the gigantic Wizard of Oz that is Australian media for what it truly is – the illusion is blown.
      Social media is so flooded with ads and fakery that it has become irrelevant.
      I just won’t waste my attention on rubbish that makes me feel bad anymore – I’ve developed either a drama intolerance or a more refined palate. What we consume on every level is who we become and it’s become so clear to me with media consumption and my reactions and beliefs around it about what is helpful and what makes me ill. I used to worry that if I didn’t keep up with current situations world wise then I would fall behind but that isn’t what has occurred at all. My husband reads the news daily, I’m sure he will tell me if something important arises 😊
      I think news reporting in the current format has had its day. I don’t know what is next (maybe WordPress 😂)

  5. Oh Kate, so much here: “Writing is a simple process” – I don’t think of writing as simple. I equate it to a really hard workout. Something to struggle through and then beam with pride when complete. Or maybe that’s the simplicity. Just roll up your sleaves and plug through it. Regardless, it’s definitely rewarding.

    “Is this relevant” – This made me laugh. I’ve come to realize that nothing I write is necessarily relevant to anyone but me. I find it flattering that other people read it, but sometimes I wonder why. Probably people are just looking for that unfiltered connection you write about. I agree, it’s sad that many (most?) people don’t know about the world of wordpress, but then most people wouldn’t spend the time to read a 5 minute essay or poem with no obvious benefit except the act of reading.

    My social media feed. Over the past two years, I’ve trained facebook to show me a never ending feed of humor, essentially cartoons, and clever memes that are nonpolitical and just really funny. My facebook feed never aggravates me any more. I go there when I want a laugh.

    Great, thought provoking post.

    • Thanks Jeff and don’t stop writing. There is a youness (I know that isn’t a word and I had to tap firmly on spellcheck to get it to skip) that comes through your writing that I enjoy. That’s why I like reading lots of personal and fairly random blogs – I like the unfiltered youness and themness and isness (I’m in a tugawar with spellcheck here)
      It’s unedited. And that’s why I drop out of my poetic bubble sometimes and often add the “why” as to my thoughts that created a poem – what Im thinking. Because we are all going through this thing called life and the little “oh me too” or “oh that’s awful” or “totally get that” moments make us feel less singular and more part of the great mass that walks this planet at any one time in history. And it doesn’t matter where we are globally, we speak the same language, emotionally at least.
      We all feel.
      Gosh this is very long winded but that’s why – don’t stop writing. Your blog is a unique strand in the WordPress DNA and I guess mine is too, and so we just write and post and live and breathe and read other writers work and the connection continues.

      • I had to do a good amount of work today so I never got around to writing. I actually feel 100%. I went for a bike ride this afternoon and kept it short and easy only because I was getting spousal pressure to do so. I see my final two days of isolation as pure vacation. Very happy I got a booster shot 2 weeks ago. Other people from the same event I attended have been dealing with fevers all week.

      • My prior booster was last December. I have to assume that without my recent shot I probably would have felt much worse. I’m not crazy about getting boosted twice a year but I’ve been getting annual flu shots for decades. Maybe more of the same. Monkey pox is next, right?

  6. I totally agree with your thoughts on writing and blogging … and also that you shouldn’t try to please everyone.
    The flowers your husband gave you are wonderful and a great proof of how important you are to him

  7. Hi Kate. I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed reading your post, and personally, I love your style of writing. I want to reread it, hopefully tomorrow, to give it the justice it deserves. I’m rather short on time this evening, but I didn’t want to pass this by without giving you due credit for this piece. Will write more tomorrow. Ellie 😊

  8. I love those types of personal blogs too and the connections we make here are a large part of why I love blogging on WordPress. Your blog is one of the many I enjoy.

  9. I agree with you on all of this! I particularly like “Blogs are our personal mirror, which we turn and face the world as we post.” I try and be as authentic and real as possible on my blog and hope it attracts the same kind of people. Keeping going.

  10. Thank you for being authentic, Kate. I’m glad you’re here as I SO relate to you, your life,…your words. I just mentioned authenticity in a recent rant. It’s here, and you being one of my first friends, that I found rich and authentic conversations and understanding. An openness. I love listening. I love other’s stories. I listen to learn ~more of you and more of me. Social media is maddening. I’m hit and miss and hardly there. My mind has a REAL annoyance with loud videos. IG is now ads, people I don’t know, videos,….where’s the QUIET? The quaint? I have a hiking group that came to see me last weekend. We laughed and had rich conversations. And then had light talks that not any social media could match. But for WP. Here I find truly authentic humans. I was unsure if I’d write again after my diagnosis. I felt paralyzed. When I looked in the mirror I didn’t recognize who was looking back. I do journal daily~it’s a cancer journal and not overwhelming, but enough to write gratitude and notes while specifically noting medical things. Nevertheless it’s writing. Kate, you’re beautiful in and out. I turned 52 in July and I understand where “we” are in life. I pray for many many more years. If I don’t get them, I’ll stop satisfied and blessed with what I’ve experienced. All of it. And I’m so very happy to know you on this journey. Keep writing!! Love and support, Karla 💕🥰

  11. I needed to read this, I guess. I am falling into that ‘dark hole’ you mentioned. Not been writing. Sometimes feeling i might hurt someone’s sentiments. Your post is like Providence speaking me. Thank you. Wishing you all the best

  12. Ugh yes, social media is an awful place honestly. I believe it’s not because people don’t want to be authentic but rather because they say the first thing that pops into their heads without thinking it through.

    • I don’t think it’s because they don’t want to be authentic either – good point. I think it is that the technology is not a good substitute for the connection that we are looking for when we go there. Nothing beats looking into someone’s eyes as we talk, being able to gauge those subtle expressions and inflections if speech and adjust what we are saying. True connection requires presence otherwise it’s a one side conversation. Thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts LaShelle 😊

      • I’m glad you enjoyed reading my blog, that’s why I write and share. It’s lovely when someone simply says “hey I enjoyed this” Thankyou so much for taking the time to read and comment, it’s sincerely appreciated 🕊✨

      • I just found your blog – it’s beautiful! I’m enjoying reading, I hope my comments go through, I’m not sure I put my website in correctly. Regardless, I’m enjoying reading your posts 🌸 🌹 🌺

      • I see your website! I left a couple comments on yours too but be patient with me because I don’t have Internet unless I’m standing out in the middle of my driveway LOL! Thank you so much for the thoughtful comments and when I go into town tomorrow to sit at the coffee shop I will read more of your blog! I can’t wait!

    • Hi Preeti, I guess I unravel my subconscious thinking in poetry and then explain them back to myself (and the reader) in longer form posts. I have found it is what works but I agree, it’s unusual.

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