Unravelling

Her mind was slipping Down one step  Then two A roll of paper Escaping across the floor But he had loved her too long So he didn’t see it Didn’t want to Till she could hide it no more By then  There were just scraps of who she used to be Scattered too far apart […]

The futility of wondering in other peoples heads

Don’t wonder out of other peoples heads.

People do this all the time, I used to do this all the time – it is called assuming. And it is a process that is seriously flawed if you reach a conclusion based on this wondering and then turn the assumption (which is all you have really arrived at) into fact. Wondering about other people in a concerned kind of caring way is fine. Wondering what they think of you is just selfish – that isn’t kind at all.

But we do it.

Would you wonder about a maths solution in another person’s head? God I wish! Wouldn’t that be cool just sitting in class and wondering out of someone elses head – no study, no work – just wonder over there and write over here. But that is ridiculous. No – you would ask the person for their help with your maths problem. This is the intelligent way to behave – got a question? Ask.

Yet we do it. We wonder.

We wonder about what we might look like from another person’s perspective. Then based on how that person behaves around other people, what they say about other people, what they do themselves – we arrive at an assumption – and call it fact.

Yet it is not. Fact. It is an assumption.

Wondering out of another person’s head is so stupidly flawed as a process that it is a wonder (this is an actual wonder) that anybody bothers to use it as a system anyway. Yet self doubters do this all the time – with disastrous results! This is a small sample of what that looks like.

You bump into A you don’t really know A because A will only show you the socially prepared mask that they have unconsciously or consciously prepared  to whomever they think you are.  A is lovely, A is toxic. You have already formed your own opinion about A based on what someone else said (flawed!) or your own time spent mingling with them now and then.

A may trust you enough to let you get a pretty good glimpse of themselves because they feel comfortable with you – and more importantly themselves – but they may not. A is having a bad day – this is not their best day to be bumped into. A may like you but A doesn’t like themselves very much so their mask might look a little cranky – or distracted – or …A may not see you at all. Get over A. A is completely different to you anyway – A is a different personality type – not yours. They weren’t raised like you, taught like you or have been through what you have been through – research on their wondering mind through your wondering mind may as well be anyone and who the hell has that much time.

A is anyone. A is everyone and A may not only not see you – they may not even be thinking of you and probably aren’t. But it is our little world and we think everyone is. Um no they are not.

So that is the first problem with caring what the general populace think. They aren’t actually thinking about you. This is the point where you are supposed to sigh and collapse with relief. Perhaps you arrived here long ago and are slightly amused by me bothering to explain it but….lets not wonder about why I am doing something out of a head that is in fact…not my own or yours – have I lost you yet? If I have or bored you – good that is what this process looks like and is the point I am trying to make. It is pointless and boring yet ….

When we forget we do it we may go a little crazy for a minute – so we should write it down so we don’t forget it.

So now you’re wondering about me – or your not. Is she crazy? No I don’t think so but thanks for asking oh you didn’t that was me. So! W e still haven’t got the point – I have actually got the point – did a long time ago but!  You didn’t ask me so you keep wondering and I’ll keep wondering if you are still wondering….

So since we seem to be revolving in circles because that is what wondering from other peoples heads looks like and I am merely trying to demonstrate – I shall take you further down the rabbit hole – “Follow me says the White Rabbit” What’s that? Read more FFS (I didn’t swear there – you did or perhaps I am assuming hmmm) It is Alice in Wonderland and that! Is what wondering in other peoples minds looks like – welcome to Wonderland.

Righto so now while we are down here  we will take a look at B.

B is someone you know – really well. Or you think you do. You see them all the time and get on great. You should know B – you really should. You don’t. B is a beautiful individual who has a whole host of B that they don’t show to people not even their besties. They can’t – B doesn’t even know what they possess inside their own selves because B is to busy to look. Or has and is just not interested in showing you. That is cool because you and B get each other don’t you? Of course you do – you don’t go wondering in each others heads because hearts know what hearts know. So they don’t bother with heads.

And then there is C family and D family in law and E and….? Relax – chill – don’t worry about them I know they reckon they know you and you think you know them but! The fact is they probably don’t – neither do you and half of them won’t care either but we won’t wonder about it because then we start assuming and wind up with a fact that may in fact – annoy or hurt us and we really have no idea so …get back in your own self Family mind is the worst kind of mind to wander in – sorry wonder.

The interior of a person is vast – enormous. People who go bothering to look at themselves can take years and years which is why America and no doubt every country that has people in it, who  have enough cash to pay others to look at themselves – has a gigantic amount of money spent every year with support people helping people to go looking at themselves.

Which is a bit ridiculous when you can just do a bit of investigating yourself if you are so inclined because wondering about yourself out of your own head isn’t selfish. It is the opposite of selfish it is un selfish because you are trying to figure out how to love yourself and once you do that of course as the every great teacher from our past from Jesus to Buddha to Lao Tzu  says in their own unique fashion – then and only then can we turn that love on the world and keep the beam strong and true.

Which is nice isn’t … and no I’m not there yet – I fall in and out of love with myself all the time so I’m a work in progress …in case you’re wondering. What I do do is keep my wondering self in my own self – it is a danger to itself out there.

Most people won’t go looking in their own heads though and they probably shouldn’t because if you go poking about in there without the correct motivation and method – you’ll just get it wrong and wind up hating yourself which is why with burnt fingers and cringe burn – people withdraw and instead wonder out of other peoples heads. Or just because they are lazy. Or because they don’t know any better.  Or because…

We could go on for ages but we won’t because wondering about other people is an endless piece of string. Wondering through other peoples heads – is an even longer piece of string. You may as well wonder what the stars think or count them. What is the point?

It would be far more helpful to wonder through your own head. Once you start doing this the string is still endless but at least you are making decisions and plans from your own point of view.

Wondering through your own head is not pointless. It is the opposite of pointless it is purpose. That is why people who have a purpose and are on track and driven from their own heads – not others – rarely worry about what other people think. Did Mother Theresa worry about what other people think? No. Did Ghandi – no. They just had love to do and they did it. And that is an important point. People who seem to be selfishly driven are probably selfishly driven but…that is what their head feels is right so why would you wonder about why? It’s their head not yours you rude bugger get out of their way because without a doubt if you stay there they will run you over.

Love is love. It is not selfishness. Wondering from your own head is not selfishness. It is merely loving yourself in your head. Which is very intelligent if you consider the alternative. Why would you bring that muck home on your shoe and then walk it all through your lovely space?

If you see something in there you don’t love – fix it. As I mentioned before (in a post further back) sometimes if you can’t see what you don’t love in yourself you should look to where you feel judged by others – are they right? If not – why do you feel judged. You can only feel judged in the sense that it hurts you – if you agree with it. If someone actually says something to you (well done that person for being so brave many are not!) that they think about you then you have the chance to respond. If it is something you agree with and it and it makes you upset – fix it. If it is something that you don’t agree with – laugh – they are so deluded that they have been obviously wondering or in fact wandering out of their own heads.

Dear one do this – do your love and keep your wondering in your own head and out of other peoples. There are some very messed up heads out there and they are dangerous places to wander in. There are some very lovely ones too – but you don’t need them for a pick me up if you have your own peaceful place to relax.

Make it comfy in there – decorate it with beautiful books and learning – put up photos of loved ones. It can get difficult to stay there if you aren’t in the habit but…it’s nice in there why go out? We all need a little reminding sometimes about how beautiful our own souls are to live in. Life gets frantic. Here is your reminder – this post is for you and for me. You are beautiful – go home, home to yourself and just do your thing – whatever it is I’m sure it will be just fine for you. I wonder if I should go and do some yoga? Nice one that is a better wonder to have and yes do that and have a green tea too or wine or whatever you want – do what you want. Do just whatever you want that is best for you and feels right. Which is nice isn’t it in a world that is always telling us to change – our weight, our looks, stay young – don’t get old. Eat this, don’t eat that… yes it is very wearying – do what you want.

Finally – perhaps this helps the more aggressive ones, the ones that don’t curl up and do cocoa and a book – I don’t understand that – books and cocoa are great but …Just think of it like this…Wondering out of other peoples heads is like driving through a wildlife safari park – the sign says “stay in the car” believe me stay in the car!

Stay in your head your heart your soul – and don’t go wandering about.

Halloween and Social Media

Halloween has been and gone.

The doorway between two worlds is closed for another year.

The concept of Halloween reminds me of social media and alternative realities.

I have just ended my self enforced term on Facebook. It is a long story but it comes down to a desire to get over myself and the realisation that as a writer who aspires to be an author one day – I really needed to take a gigantic leap over my own insecurities.

How does one get over oneself? To me it was a puzzling problem. I found when I began writing in the public arena (on a different blog) that I seemed to care an awful lot about what others thought of me. Or rather what I thought others might think of me. As a writer caring about what other people think is akin to travelling with an eraser in one hand and a pencil in the other. Nothing was getting done. I would post something one day then delete it the next.

I lacked purpose and direction or any valid sense of who I really was let alone what I was trying to say.  I wasn’t being the sort of writer I wanted to be. I wasn’t allowing myself to be. As a writer I needed to be able to write fiercely and fearlessly exactly whatever it was that I wanted to communicate without the process becoming tainted by my concerns of how someone else might receive/perceive it. Or indeed whether they would eventually be bothered to read my work at all.

So I came up with a mad plan that was hatched in the middle of the night – as all mad plans are – and it seemed quite sensible at the time.

I decided that for a year I would post from the heart on Facebook. I would actually write posts not just wack up the odd meme (as most people seem to do) and many of the memes are rather odd but anyway that is judgemental thinking which is exactly what I wanted to survive the possibility of invoking in others.

I added as many family as I could drag out to befriend me and when I say drag – I mean drag. I had one sister in law who had not accepted my friend request after a fortnight so I called her and basically made her accept me.

Is this odd? I don’t know, I don’t care to question myself over such things anymore. I probably did at the time but you see I needed her to be standing on the sidelines watching my posts. Did she cringe? I have no idea – she never even “liked” a single thing I posted – did I care? Yes of course but I was supposed to care – the deeper the better so that I may get to the point of not caring so deeply.

And if that seems odd – I now don’t care.

I didn’t tell anyone (apart from a couple of other writers) what I was doing – as that would be beside the point.

I also didn’t stipulate (to myself) that I wouldn’t delete any posts – after a certain amount of time had elapsed of course. I’m only human. At the start I took quite a few back down but I always made myself wait to feel the burn of shame that comes when a normally quite private person goes and slaps a personal post up on good old Facie.

It was excruciating but highly beneficial. If people couldn’t handle me at 100% proof then …they really needed to know that and so did I. The silence was deafening at times!

During that enforced wait (before deleting a post) I watched closely how I felt and after awhile – a good long while – things started to change. I became a little more fearless, a little less embarrassed. By the end, I would usually leave things up a good week before I went back and deleted them because – well this was an experiment and I didn’t need messy things languishing around for decades on Facebook. That wasn’t the point of the exercise. The point – was to be exactly who I was and learn to deal with the fact that some people that I cared about may not actually “like” this new openly writing communicating version of me. And for this openly writing communicating me to learn how to not care so much about such possible outcomes.

I never said anything I didn’t mean – I was completely authentic. Whether it was a post about food or a post about a family holiday or a post about how I felt – I told the story honestly and in much the same way as if I had been verbally relating it.

It served absolutely no purpose to not be from the heart or else how would my poor little jittery fluttery thing learn to grow big strong wings? So I posted and I posted and apart from the odd week or so when it all got far too much – I kept it up till it didn’t bother me in the slightest anymore. Which was about a year funnily enough and then I stopped.  I started more or less with a bike trip and ended the same way – on a high note.

Some of it was fun. Some not so much. But it is a relief to have it all over. The sharing thing is …well like losing very real pieces of yourself. And perhaps it is pieces of yourself – pieces that you used to wear in order to make other people and yourself comfortable. Going naked in public is deeply uncomfortable, both for you and for the observer, it makes sense to cover some things up. But it is also beneficial to know what you are wearing and when you are doing so and why.

Because writing is about revealing and revelation can be disturbing yet nothing happens without it. So one must learn to deal with being disturbed and creating it in others. Especially when those “others” are people you may bump into whilst doing the Grocery shopping or sitting down to Christmas lunch with.

Twelve months of sharing excerpts of my life on social media as authentically as possible has radically shifted how I view the judgements and opinions of other people. It has radically shifted how I view and judge myself.

I’ve had a clean out and burnt all the masks that I didn’t even knew I used to wear.

Halloween truly is over.

How words define us and destroy us

 

 

I’ve been reading a book today.

About humans.

It nearly made me give up on this writing thing – this dreaming thing. This doing thing. Humans are so crazy. On an individual scale it is laughable. On a global scale – as a pack culture – mad and dangerous.

Our brains are so incredibly plastic that we have become…whatever they told us to be. “They” being parents, school, the system, our peers, our very long piece of string that calls down a well and echoes back to us “you are…”.

and whatever that voice, those words say – we become – as long as we are  agreeing with it.

But what if I’m not what they say – or even my own rule book describes. What if I’m just infinite potential. What if our school report read “infinite potential” and it should – because we are.

We have a rule book in our head – written by others. With an addendum added by us. We stick to this mad thing. In spite of everything and …it is never going to change. Everyone is in a dream – their own personal dream and from there they tick and flick against the others that they come up against in life. Worse – they tick and flick against themselves.

I am …no good, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not enough.

She – is a terribly thought provoking woman.  🙂  I am dumb. I am depressed. They are ludicrous. He is disgusting. They are……….what busy minds we have. And with all the judging and the preoccupation with judging  – few think to add to their troubles and do anything out of line – out of sync with the rule books. God no – they judge themselves. And stay small. Because small is easy – large looks messy and .. lawless.

And it all began

With the WORD. Bible – read it – interesting book full of words. Words that have been used to persecute, humble, illuminate, hate, love – control a whole heap of other people that have their own words – their own books. So they push back with their words.

Without words entire wars would not have started.

And people steal words. They put words into another person’s mouth when they assume. When they whisper, when they slander and lie. When they praise, when they raise when they’re humble and they’re kind.

So people steal words. They break words. They use them frivolously. They use them kindly. They use them for peace and diplomacy. What to do about words.

So you see my dilemma as a wordsmith – should I even bother? To add my words into the mad jumble already piling up in the filing cabinets of other peoples minds?

We were wild once – before the domestication. I like that theory. I agree with that theory and had been espousing just that theory all week (which I thought was mine!)to my avidly listening husband (alright I made that up – he was asleep) but that is the point. We are all asleep – we are all asleep – until we wake up and see that. That we are all asleep or just speaking.

Without speech where would we be? Silent and forced into the nuanced  intuitive world of the animal.

How does a cow gossip?

It simply doesn’t bother. God how peaceful must cows be!

Does an owl whisper to itself “Oh no too many feathers – I have to pick skinnier mice – I must go on a diet” God how peaceful must owls be! And yes, very ,very wise.

And because of that their heads are free – spacious, unrestrained by the containers placed around them by words – ours or their own.

Free to live. To truly live.

I look at my dog Bodhi and think – how gorgeous she looks, how bouncy and loving and kind. She doesn’t hear me describe her as any of these things, although she can feel my love when I shine it at her. Why don’t we just shine our approval, our disapproval, our sadness. Instead of saying it – then others won’t get all the useless words that accompany the message. The impatient mother that snaps and lashes out saying “oh for goodness sake you are so vane just pick a dress – lets get moving.” To the child that then worries she is vane as well as all the other things that her thoughtless mother, her teacher, her peers have told her.

Stop putting out lights and hopes and dreams with words and instead start using them to lift the ones around you. To lift yourself. To free yourself. Words are transformative and life changing. Words are magical.Respect the Word be more like the animals.

Animals in their spaciousness heads who live on intuition and the memory of being, doing. Not words. Imagine the hawk simply flying and observing – not telling himself a thousand different stories of success or failure in his head. The Hawk will indeed succeed or fail in its hunt but it won’t tell itself that it was because of the colours of its feathers. The size of its feet. It’s lack of ability. Hawks are hawks and they are just hunting.

Humans are humans and we are just…

Words.

Before words told us who we should be and where we were failing and could do better and should do better and she said and he said an they said – that is a good place to go back to – that first word.

Then cancel it. And instead just be. If people could just be and not be seen to be …lacking, brilliant, amazing, awful, disgraceful.

Then people would be. They would just be.

For what word describes the state of no word.

………………..

Truth.

That is the only thing you can be if you want to be anyone.

You can only be truth. Start from there. Don’t listen to what “everyone” has told you that you can do or can’t do. They are only operating from behind a set of beliefs imprinted on their brain by themselves and their experiences, their “everyone” in their own little world.

What do you love? What do you think? Start thinking for yourself  and not defining yourself by the words you have been told. The containers that you have been given and that you have built around yourself.

The power of words on our psyche is humbling. When I think of all the little kids that were told, are at this moment being told – all sorts of nonsense by hurtful ignorant parents that themselves are damaged. The loss of power and potential in those little ones, the sadness – is heart breaking.

Please instead use your words thoughtfully. What are you saying to others about them and about yourself? You are spreading words. Are they good words? Are they transformative words. All words are transformative. All words are powerful. From second to second millions of lives swing on the word. What they eat. What they drink. How are simple choices damaging the environment? But mostly it is what they think. Mostly what they think. In the own little world of words. In their messed up crammed full head – that is full of words – talking to them.

Do I add to this with my words – my blog now and the book I am writing?

Do I add to it in my own head?

The “what will they think” “what do I think” and I did worry.

Right up to the point where I realised that I was gifted with the power to change someone’s life simply by them reading my words. This is what my original intention was with doing this blog. I wanted to help someone, everyone see that they are beautiful. I wanted to be good words, life changing words – not just useless or thoughtless words. I wanted to push back at the proliferation of bad words and terrible messages that is creating damaged people and a numbed down, dumbed down society of people who can’t think for all the noise in their heads. The words in their heads. The wrong words.

We are all defined by words. Words on a report card scrawled by some tired and busy teacher in the middle of the night. Words whispered behind a hand to another about someone else – who they don’t even know. Words on a doctors reports that say “three months to live “- when that person may in fact recover. Words. They can be useful or useless but mostly – they are magical and powerful. They change minds. Use them carefully. Please and with very good manners.

Use them carefully when you describe yourself to yourself and when you describe your daughter or son to them. Don’t tell them they have a terrible singing voice or some other such nonsense.  All singing voices are beautiful. Be careful with your jokes. Watch that they are not hurtful and come from a place of true fun and humour. Because you could be hurting someone, leaving a scar on someones mind. Be careful with your words. I have my reminder to now – to be careful with my words. Because I haven’t always been, I just haven’t always been so careful with them.

The book is the Four Agreements by Don Mequel Ruiz. It describes the source of self limiting beliefs which prevent us from being free to do and become whatever we want. It was a good book to read at this beginning time. A timely reminder.

Who are you? And what as Cheryl Strayed asks “what do you plan to do with your one wild  and precious life?”

The video below is a further reminder to speak to ourselves carefully, to speak carefully to our body and those around us. The power of words is extraordinary to touch others lives, use them wisely.

Don’t shoot yourself in the foot

Never write with a loaded gun.

Never speak with a loaded gun.

Never get into a car or throw your leg over a motor bike – with a loaded gun.

Do not load your gun with bad energy. You become the gun. You can load your energy – and that is what you should do but think carefully about what sort of energy you are loading because what you send out into the world will come back to you at just the same calibration.

This is energy, this is at what it looks like in play. When you start to work with energy you realise how amazingly self empowering it is. You have just been handed the keys to your own system and the manual to the world around you. It is incredibly humbling.

And it should be.

A gun, a car, a piece of paper or a blank email – the telephone. All these everyday objects are just that – everyday objects until you choose to pour your power through them.

Then they become weapons or tools. You choose their purpose. You can wield them foolishly or you can wield them with great skill.

If you pick up a gun it is harmless. If you pick up a gun with reason – it is a tool perhaps a weapon but still something that will not come back to harm you unless you have reason to believe it should. You are reasoning – so hopefully you will reason appropriately. This is the level you drive a car at. Reason.

If you pick up a gun with anger. You will do anger and it will come back to haunt you with Karma. You will get anger. Think 9/1. Think war. Think stupid.

If you pick up a gun with grief. You will get grief.

If you pick up a gun in shame. You will probably be dead so it won’t matter what you will be because it is almost certainly dead – just try not to take anyone else out with you.

If you pick up … in what mood are you? What are you loading the object with.

Are you loading it with ego and wrecking your car in front of mates? Then you will fall. Soon or later you will suffer a loss of ego either from your mates or from your parents or from the policeman or just the mystified mechanic fixing it. And you will pay – you will pay through the nose for your five minutes of being a hero.

If a young man loads up a car with ego he may very well die or kill someone else. Congratulations It has just become a weapon.

You have just taken an object and turned it into something else.

That is all energy work is. It is learning to choose wisely how we use our energy.

I picked up this post and I used it carefully. I used it carefully to write down on a piece of paper to a loved one of my own. Just to say – as I heard my father and my mother telling their loved one and mine that is so like him. “Don’t drive angry.” So don’t. Forget about the object – YOU are too precious.

Don’t drive emotionally. Don’t drive with bad energy. Don’t speak with bad energy. Don’t write with bad energy (I am calmer now) and don’t ever load a gun and point it at anyone or anything unless you want bad Karma to follow.

The last “don’t” is my message to the world. Just “don’t” pick up a gun.

Motorbike keys to Empowerment

If you would like the keys to finding faith, empowerment and confidence in an ever changing and sometimes frightening world. Let me show mine. They hang from a BMW embossed leather tag and they are my prized possession. I would wear them like jewellery but why do that when you can use them to turn over a bike and kick off onto the highway instead.

Follow me for a couple of thousand words and I’ll tell you why 🙂

Don’t look where you don’t want to go.

The words flashed into my head as the bloated carcass of a large grey kangaroo appeared on the road. I glanced to the bitumen beside the large lump, the bike duly followed and seconds later I wizzed around the smelly lump. Don’t look where you don’t want to go. Such a simple rule of riding that I hardly thought of it much anymore but I knew what happened if I didn’t apply it. Any motor bike rider learns this rule very quickly.

In motorbike riding, the direction you move in, is all about where you look. This is actually true with any mode of travel including your own legs but for some reason we never consider it much until we go to sit on a motorbike where the results of focus can have such swift and sometimes disastrous consequences if you make a mistake.  Believe me, where you look is exactly where you will go. If you see a pothole and think “God I don’t want to hit that” – and you keep looking at it – God can’t help you and you will hit it.

As I dodged the kangaroo yesterday, I grinned in my helmet thinking of how this rule had been reinforced to me not long after I started riding when, with legs stiff and backside very sore, I  had arrived at a service station in Cunnamulla. Glad to have reached the town after a several hours riding, I was intent on fueling the bike and was therefore scanning the bowsers to see which one contained the unleaded fuel as I rode in. Forgetting the most important rule of riding – don’t look where you don’t want to go – I damn near ended up on top of the bowser and although I didn’t drop the bike or hit anything – it was close. And would have been embarrassing, if it wasn’t so funny, both to me and the goggle eyed bloke that was fueling his car on the other side.

It is a known phenomenon in riding and it is called focus lock. The risk of it occurring is compounded with long rides and a lack of awareness due to tiredness or distraction.

Awareness and staying in the moment is another important rule of thumb which is why it is such powerful meditation (and therefore highly addictive to me).

I simply can’t assume the position and Om my way into peace at home, my chatterbox mind won’t allow it. If you think I write long rambly posts – try living in my head 🙂

Out on the road though the wind noise and the requirement for a constant return to the present moment has me naturally deep in a meditative state. Bugger candle flames – true zen is accomplished by motorbike riders every time they go for a long ride. This is why something that looks uncomfortable and boring – is actually relaxing.

There are other reasons why motorbike riding is addictive. It allows me to conquer my old nemesis – fear.

When I first got my motorbike license and was beginning to take trips by myself, overcoming fear was a huge obstacle. Every time I would excitedly plan a journey, the inevitable spectre of death or injury would rise up and I would start thinking “what if?” I have a pretty good imagination so the “what if?” horror film could become quite luridly frightening if I allowed my thoughts to get out of hand. But I love riding and I love riding solo best so I had to find a way to get over these imaginary fears in order to go riding.

The only way to get over irrational fears is to walk through them and prove to yourself that they are in fact irrational and merely figments of your imagination. This seems easy enough in theory but as a mother and wife it is often difficult to do put into practice and it is why I believe so many women either don’t ever take up riding a motor bike – or if they do – give it up as they become mothers of young children.

Which is a pity. Riding a motorbike is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world. Riding solo and being free to go wherever you want, ditching all responsibilities and cares for awhile and just sitting on a humming machine, the scents of a change in season wafting through your helmet, zooming along with just yourself for company is an amazing experience. If it sounds like the perfect antidote to time poor mothers that is because it is. Riding is also a great instruction manual into how to conquer irrational fears – something which has plagued just about every human being on the planet at one time or other in their lives.

I used to be a very anxious person. I’m not now. I have ridden bikes that felt out of my comfort zone on roads that certainly were and learnt to handle them. I have chosen to get on those same bikes (I have a couple 🙂 and take long trips along a highway with the company of truck drivers on Ice, random animals prone to suicide attacks on my person and God knows who behind the wheel of every car that drifts past as I take a drink of water and a rest. As you can see – most of that is in my head but it doesn’t make it any less scary. Having all that crap transformed into calm awareness, confidence and a friendly wave at drivers and animals alike is pretty cool stuff.  Thanks BMW you have fixed a lifelong problem that could have otherwise plagued me for the rest of my life.

It is not just about solo riding though. I’ve been fortunate enough to have some great companions at times. I have had the opportunity to spend time with my older brothers on the road, keeping connections alive through a shared passion that I may not have been able to do without my motorbike.  I’ve ridden with other women that enrich the experience with their own tales of overcoming hurdles to do so and I have ridden in a mixed group of genders a time or two that was just as much fun. Bikers are great people because they meet death every moment and choose to see it as life enhancing rather than life threatening so they are always nice to hang around with.

Plus it is the strangers you meet along the way. The characters that you bump into who – without a motorbike as the draw card and interest – would never have come up and just started yacking away to me and telling me their stories – some sad, some funny and some just plain bazaar 🙂

I have had a couple of misadventures and been temporarily stuck here and there. Every single time within seconds a stranger has turned up to lend me a hand. I know this – if you are brave and take the leap, the universe really will provide you with the wings you need – suddenly instead of plunging you will be soaring.

I haven’t always thought everything through – for obvious reasons – that wasn’t working! Sometimes you just have to go and trust that you’ll be fine. I think that this is the greatest lesson that motorbike riding has given me. It is this deep steady faith that I will be okay – that whatever comes – I will be okay and will have the strength to deal with it or that someone will come along at the right time to help me. This certainty is not just provided on the highway, it is provided to me in every moment of my life now. ‘

This sort of faith is invaluable, it is extraordinary! It is also so hard for me to imagine that I would have obtained it in any other way than by riding a motorbike.

Life is an amazing journey whichever vehicle you choose to navigate it in. Riding a motorbike however turns the rather pedestrian pursuit of one point to another into an adventure. It lifts the mundane into the realms of extraordinary. It isn’t for everyone but just from the conversations I have had with other ladies I know – a lot of women yearn for it, however due to all those risks and fears, they don’t do it. Plenty of blokes don’t either and it is shame.

If this post helps one woman or man take the risk and find themselves smiling in their helmet – happy and confident out on the road and in their everyday lives then it has been well worth the effort in writing it…at 2am in the morning ha!

*Please note – after all this positive encouragement I do know people have in fact died on the roads on motorbikes or been terribly injured. I also know people die in car crashes, plane crashes and sitting at their breakfast table eating their bacon and eggs. Life is random – I am not going to be responsible for your death on a motorbike anymore than I would be because after a lifetime of eating crap you have a heart attack and die.

I will however take full credit if  – after reading this post – you pull up your big girl panties (or Y fronts) and go and get a motorbike licence and then find yourself in a couple of years time floating along some long highway somewhere and whispering”thanks Kate” with tears of gratitude flowing down your face because you feel blessed. I’ve done that but I was whispering it to myself and you should to – because I know – it’s tough, it’s scary and  male or female – you did that all by yourself, kudos to you dear – just you XX0X

Propagating the Seeds of our Souls

If you meet a person who is less than perfect – it is because they are holding part/s of themselves back. It could be because they are feeling defensive and consciously or unconsciously withholding themselves or it could be because they haven’t grown into that particular corner yet.

Human beings are born whole and in every package hides a seed. This kernel is not the same one that holds the DNA of the generations that have gone before it. This seed is entirely more precious.

The brain can be rewired and only calibrates as it is taught by the world around it. The body is a lump of clay which can be moulded in accordance with what the brain and egos wishes. The precious seed on the other hand has nothing to do with clay.

As people we by and large, behave in accordance with how our brain dictates. The brain is taught by parents, teachers, peers and by experiencing life around it. The seed doesn’t need to be taught anything – it already knows everything it needs. The seed knows its purpose. It knows what it is here to do.

The seed needs to grow. It is easy to imagine a seed being carried for a hundred lifetimes (if you believe in such things) before it grows properly into the human soul that it needs to become in order to fulfil it’s purpose. That is because people are distracted. They focus heavily on doing what the brain tells them when they should be looking deeper. Our body already knows what to do in it’s perfect state and the brain can be rewired but it can only begin to listen and change when we listen to the seed – and it lies buried deep within.

So how do we begin to listen to the seed? A good place – I have found – is to start with other people. I wouldn’t normally suggest that but I had a blinding strike of inspiration this morning when someone drove past and we waved and the usual prickle of annoyance of seeing that person didn’t appear. So that helped me.

You see this someone usually has a great many opinions about people and is not afraid to state them – quite bluntly. This person also has the odd one about me – which used to erk me to the point of seething even when they said nothing because I knew, I just knew what they thought.

So I wondered why I wasn’t worried anymore. And I found it had to do with the part of myself that secretly worried their opinions of me might be true. This part had gone missing in action. Couldn’t be found. In it’s place was a little patch that was healing nicely – soon it wouldn’t even leave a scar. If you look for the parts of yourself that you are annoyed with in difficult peoples opinions then – just like checking your lipstick before you go out the door – you will be able to see a clear reflection. And that reflection will tell you the parts of you into which you need to enquire deeper.

I am not saying you are faulty. I am saying that perhaps this perceived flaw is simply an aspect of yourself which is being shown outwardly as a negative because you aren’t using it right. I’m not talking either, about nonsense that you can in fact check in a normal mirror. Stop worrying about your exterior – it won’t even matter once you grow your seed because human beings that grow older in accordance with their seeds are so stunningly beautiful that you will never have to worry about your appearance again.

I’m talking about things like this “You ask too many questions”. “You were born talking and chatterbox” were also frequent themes for me. If you have been told this constantly since you were a tiny child then listen because it might just refer to your seed. As a child I was also admonished not to “wear your heart on your sleeve “and “you’re so over sensitive” among other things. This sounds a bit awful but as the youngest in my family I was hugged as often I was verbally pecked at. Nobody meant anything by it – but it is useful intel when working out which flaws to work with and most of the extraneous ones will fall away once you

It is important to note that I seemed to grow more flawed as I grew older instead of less. There are a great many things to consider when unpacking your seed and it requires a bit of insight and time – all this information didn’t just come to me in one flash, there are older lessons here. This morning just allowed me to condense them a little.

Go back to only the earliest recollections and those oft repeated, which may echo those old ones – because they are probably the ones  you need to look at. The later ones just need to be dropped as they were probably defence mechanisms that your seed employed to protect itself.

I’m a good communicator (summary needs a little work). More than that – I am driven to communicate and share. If I hadn’t been intensely curious of life around me and then -further – didn’t feel compelled to share what I learnt – then I wouldn’t be writing this. Communication is one of my greatest gifts and enjoyments – I feel blessed to have discovered this.

Look behind the negative application of your perceived flaw whatever it is and instead start enhancing the positives. Nobody looks at a flower or a tree and says “well that is just wrong.” This is because in nature plants and animals listen to their seeds a lot better than humans do. I found it hopeful to realise that even if humans are not all perfect – their souls are. We can die with beautiful fully grown out souls or we can die like wizened stunted things – the difference is the care and attention we pay to propagating our seeds.