The spinning top

The showground ride

A boat on choppy seas

Leaves a body with shaky knees

Turbulent guts

Unable to find a centre crux

Anchor less

Rudder less

Ill at ease

Similarly

A simple conversation from woah to go

If authenticity is lost and the road unknown

Finds us floundering

Confounded

So often in life we wear another mans words

Without even knowing we’ve donned the robes

Walking along in another’s clothes

Instead of our own identity

*have you ever had that realisation in the middle of a conversation that you don’t believe what you are saying?

It is disconcerting – that floaty shattered feeling in your guts occurs as the wall of integrity that you usually sit upon with ease, begins to crack and like Humpty Dumpty you fall

All this happens internally

Externally you suddenly shut up and begin thinking instead

“Why did I say that?”

And the rest of the conversation continues and you’re not really there because this saw toothed moment of truth and lie is cutting at the fabric of how you think about yourself

It might be a big thing or a small bump but you’ve noticed and the more you notice the more you see this incongruence appearing in daily life and the discomfort causes you to cut it out every time it appears

Once you begin to observe yourself like that, you can never ignore your self again. It’s like finding a third arm you never knew existed and now you can’t stop using it to slap yourself awake.