I’m prone to whims and moods

We all are

I make a statement

a declaration

a decree

an oath

almost always about me

What I’m going to do

not do

give up

give away

I stick to it like glue for

a day

a week

a month

and then

poof!

gone!

I’m off and racing on another train of thought

The lines switch over with hardly a ring of a bell to tell me

I’ve done it again

Until further down the line and I get to where I am going and it’s not where I envisioned and

Bugger – I’ve caught the wrong train again!

And so I stand there like a confused orphan on the siding. Clutching a ticket for a train I didn’t know I was riding.

And vow I shall not do that again.

let it go

pick it up

let it go

pick it up

I’m tired

Tired of looking at this scenario

Like the smelly little dog that follows you home with disease in its eyes and it’s fur all matted and you want to say no but

….

you don’t

you give in

The trouble is

Humans are afflicted with a brain

Mine works perfectly well to do quite an extraordinary number of things

But staying on track is not one of them

You only have to look at the shape of the thing (The brain) all those lines and channels squiggling off in all directions – nothing straight – divided into sections.

It rewires according to how we learn and think

It is affected by what we eat and drink

It is a super computer that can only compute

what we put into it

It is like living life on a shifting carpet that can fly away any minute

Difficult

The first admission in Buddhism

Life

is

difficult

I’m in a train that can, any minute – go off track. It seems automated until you reach the final fact that

no

it

really

isn’t

You can sit in the seat – half way back with the weirdo that mutters to himself and eats Twisties and strawberry jam

 

 

Or

………………

And I’ve left it there because the thing is – I know I am the driver of the train. The operator of my brain yet certain things can get in between and shove you further back until you don’t realise that in fact, gremlins are at the wheel and you are feet up in the seat several carriages away reading a book and you look up startled when the station is called because

this is not where you wanted to be 

at all

So that is my thought for the day to myself and to anyone else who regularly catches the train to nowhere 🙂

And the photo in the header is not a train of course it is a team but…it’ll do “)