The Book of Self

You can say something

a million different ways

and each way

with a combination of slightly different words

and a slightly different angle

will be received uniquely

The quality of light




every time it enters us

falls a certain way

its own way,

and how it falls,

is something the mind decides

right here

in the present moment


As I write this, I have just written a post on my Patreon blog about gifts to the future self and how learning to speak to a future audience that isn’t here yet, is difficult. I have a great group of people here and on Instagram but the Patreon site is new. There is no one listening and every time I post it is like shouting into the void, or twitter. It is easy to feel disheartened and just not post there, post where I am “seen” instead. I don’t say this as a exhortation to go follow me over there – I can see why no one would particularly right now, when there is only a few poems, a few posts – nothing much to read home about – literally.

I am in the content building stage. It can’t be the same content I have here it has to be different because hello! Why would someone buy what they can just read for free.

What I do find though is that thoughts do tend to go around and wisdom does tend to fall a little deeper every time. That water carves a path in the rock just as experience does with the mind. Sometimes it might sound almost familiar but it is feels so integrally different that large leaps in growth occur.

That is what is happening right now when I explore concepts like beliefs. When I think about how I used to think certain things were true and now I just don’t believe that anymore and I believe something so much more helpful and inspiring.

Reading our own thoughts and our life experience is like reading a book. You can read a good book in your teens. You read it again in your twenties and it is different, thirties, different again and by the time you get to your forties and fifties (not there yet but I can imagine:) and so on – the book is dog eared, well loved and the information is received on a channel and level that just simply wasn’t available when we were younger.

I have those channels ahead of me and I am so excited to arrive with my tattered little book of self tucked under my arm and have it open even further

Anyway, it’s lovely to continue to write each day on WordPress and I do so appreciate the audience even more having just come off my post on Patreon that while satisfying because it is for my future…is a little bit like whispering in a sleeping dogs ear.



11 thoughts on “The Book of Self

  1. Perspective is incredibly interesting! I find mine changing almost daily as I am approaching the end of my twenties. You are certainly heard and loved here on WP ♥️

    • Thanks Katy. The world we live in seems so real and yet it is built entirely of the constructs of the mind and flickers uncertainly as a belief changes. It’s the weirdest thing. 💕

  2. Yes. I know what you mean. Some people claim they don’t write for readers or publication, but then why not just keep a diary. I wrote about this subject in my memoir. Even Emily Dickinson sent her poetry to Thomas Higginson to see if it “breathed”:

    Mr Higginson,

    Are you too deeply occupied to say if my Verse is alive?

    The Mind is so near itself-it cannot see, distinctly-and I have none to ask-

    Should you think it breathed- and had you the leisure to tell me, I should feel quick gratitude-

    If I make the mistake-that you dared to tell me-would give me sincerer honor-toward you-

    I enclose my name-asking you, if you please-Sir-to tell me what is true?

    That you will not betray me-it is needless to ask-since Honor is it’s own pawn-

    Always loved her poetry. And Rilke. Love him. And someone who reminds me of you, a Michigan poet i love–braindead and can’t think of his name. Will post it when I ask my famous writer buddy who dedicated some work to him…

    “Publication” is a little different than a readership. I can’t believe any writer wouldn’t at least want a readership, since the whole point of words is communication and expression. Why bother “expressing” just to oneself other than a bit of catharsis? However, if publication isn’t the whole goal, then one can write what one really wants to; the whole point of self publishing something like a memoir. How does your site work? do you pay to join the site or every time you go on it?

    • Hi Lyn,
      No you don’t pay every time. You become a monthly subscriber and choose how much you want to pay per month based on the content you want to read. There is a $5 per month or $10 or $20 tier with the higher tiers receiving all the benefits below. I know it is something that will take a while to build an audience, and accepted that at the start. Take a look and see if it’s something you’re interested in, would be great to have some of my group from WordPress over there for a chat. The magazine is being posted a few days early each month on the Patreon so it will appear over there today first.

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