Worry and the ego

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, because I’ve been worrying about different family members on loop.

Why do we worry about those that we love?

Is it love?

Or is it because we fear that if something happens to them, it will hurt us?

Is worry about those we love then at least a little egocentric?

I just don’t want to do it anymore. It is such a waste of time and energy.

We cannot control another person, their habits, their proclivities, their budgets, their health…

Other people, no matter how much we love them are well and truly out of our control once they reach adulthood. And if the desire to do so stems from the wish to avoid hurting ourselves then it feels selfish to worry about another person.

I do know one thing – worry for someone is not love. And we shouldn’t confuse ourselves (as I did for a long time) in that way.

Worry is also a habit of the mind. I have been a worrier since childhood; therefore, it is a groove my thinking falls naturally into when unattended. The trick, then, is not to leave it unattended and to use it for things that are more productive – like writing.

I once read that imagination used for worry is a terrible thing; however, when used for creating, it is pure magic – so the best use of my worry would be to sink it into plots and drama that I write about rather than mull on. Off to do precisely that – have a great day.


9 thoughts on “Worry and the ego

  1. In a sense, you are having to be distracted all the time, otherwise you will worry. it sort of means your mind is either working for you or against you -there is no neutral ground, which means no rest..
    I wonder if it’s better to resolve the worries and live happily ever after..

  2. you arrived at a sound conclusion: imagination used for worry is best channeled into creativity: for all those unwritten poems and unpainted pictures; short term worry is productive if it leads to a solution: that’s the best sort of worry; anxiety about the BIG things because there are so many factors outside our control is often counter productive —

  3. I, too, have been a worrier since childhood. “Why do we worry about those that we love?” I asked myself a similar question when I woke one night with anxiety about my firstborn. The answer was a revelation that calmed my troubled mind: I worry because I don’t trust him to do the right thing for his own well-being. As you’ve concluded, once our loved ones reach adulthood, their decisions and actions or inaction are “truly out of our control.”

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