I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, because I’ve been worrying about different family members on loop.
Why do we worry about those that we love?
Is it love?
Or is it because we fear that if something happens to them, it will hurt us?
Is worry about those we love then at least a little egocentric?
I just don’t want to do it anymore. It is such a waste of time and energy.
We cannot control another person, their habits, their proclivities, their budgets, their health…
Other people, no matter how much we love them are well and truly out of our control once they reach adulthood. And if the desire to do so stems from the wish to avoid hurting ourselves then it feels selfish to worry about another person.
I do know one thing – worry for someone is not love. And we shouldn’t confuse ourselves (as I did for a long time) in that way.
Worry is also a habit of the mind. I have been a worrier since childhood; therefore, it is a groove my thinking falls naturally into when unattended. The trick, then, is not to leave it unattended and to use it for things that are more productive – like writing.
I once read that imagination used for worry is a terrible thing; however, when used for creating, it is pure magic – so the best use of my worry would be to sink it into plots and drama that I write about rather than mull on. Off to do precisely that – have a great day.