Before the sun

Waking me like the gentle slap of a kittens paw

Tapping on my mind

Shifting my feet restlessly

I move to the kitchen pour coffee and stare at my own reflection in the dark window panes

The glass doors are like mirrors

black and reflective

I ponder a woman sipping coffee in her slippers at 3am

I could lament the lost hours of sleep

Sigh at the incomplete cycle of circadian rhythm.

However, that which awakens me is driven by a rhythm greater than a sleep/wake cycle

It is an internal knock

A deeply buried clock

saying “I must speak to you”

A friend in the night

who has just swung by to take me by the hand

lead me to the yoga mat

the coffee cup

the keyboard

I am checking in with my spirit

Something worth waking early

Before the sun

Talking to myself, before anyone else

Catching the tale end of yesterday, ensuring today begins well

casting intentions like a net

a fisherman before dawn

Checking the lines

To see, what I’ve got on

keeping the prizes

discarding the waste

The day is coming in, a relentless reliable tide

And I begin without haste

grateful for this new morning

In which to begin again

*I have always had a vast reserve of energy. My mind is a loud engine which once turned on, is difficult to disengage. I’ve found my balance in recent years with exercise and yoga, meditation, a healthy diet. Still, when I get busy and my days are consumed with the business of “out there” something deeper than my mind wakes me early (even earlier than usual) for a check-in.

I can’t ignore it. Or rather, I choose not too. A few hours before the day begins, spent in quiet time without anyone giving me a list of things I must attend to today. I am prioritising that soulful check-in first. Setting my kettle to boil on the stove, enjoying my rich dark coffee, then stretching the kinks out of the curve of my spine and shoulders with asana. Sifting thoughts, letting them unfurl into words, I type into a blog post, and scrawl thoughts into my journal. Touching base with my interior places, ensuring everyone is on the same bus. Everyone is heard. The mother, the wife, the child that was, the woman who is becoming, and all of the other essential voices we can tune out whilst busy with the tasks that the day drops on us.

If we ignore the interior concerns, they can become toxic or mutate into poor behaviour as old wounds and unhelpful patterns are triggered throughout the day.

We have to wake up each morning truly. Become conscious and aware. Become intentional from a wholly integrated version of ourselves. So often otherwise, our eyes are open, but we are thinking from a place of yesterday, two weeks into the future, or ten years ago – perhaps a habitual pattern or wounded perspective.

That which we do not entirely, intentionally inhabit – inhabits us, becomes us.

If we do not begin the day as our most authentic self, choosing exactly how we will meet it and in what frame of mind, then I don’t know about you, but I can become lost in that soupy sea throughout the day. The fog of numbness creeps in. We begin to react rather than act – from a place of over-thinking, or under-thinking or no thinking – which is never a good place to start because that sort of thinking comes from all sorts of inner demons and old emotional triggers.

Instead, I try to choose how I will respond to every situation throughout the day no matter what it brings. And from that space – I can stay in the moment, knowing I am prepared with the only thing that I can control.


But it’s a daily thing.

And “me” is slippery if I don’t tell her how things are going to go and soothe all those unconscious protective impulses created throughout my life that will jump in to fill a defensive line if I don’t show them that I have got this, it’s okay – I’ve got this.

You’ve got this.

Cheers to a beautiful morning on the tide – I hope your day goes well and if not, I hope you find yourself well and whole within it.

Header Image: AI-generated art – woman journalling.

5 thoughts on “Before the sun

  1. Waking early happens to me sometimes, usually triggered by a dream. I’m learning to deal with whatever unresolved issue of the past is brought to my attention. I dare not get up to make coffee and do yoga or I won’t get back to sleep again 🙂

    • I don’t go back to sleep again Rosaliene. I wouldn’t be able to either – I enjoy those hours if I’m up exceptionally early such as today and meditation is more restful at the moment then a night spent tossing and turning and trying to go back to sleep. I prefer to think alright I’m up, may as well get some peace and quiet and reflection done before the day begins 😊

  2. Thank you for sharing your morning routine with us and all the thoughtful reasons behind it. I get up at 4:30 every day and I’m in bed by 10. Those early morning hours are my favorite of the day. I watch the sunrise every single morning. It’s the time I am myself and I remember who I am when not in relation to other people. It’s so important 🙂

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