I have writers traffic jam.
This is the opposite of writers block.
For those that are interested.
Writer’s traffic jam occurs when there is too much to say and it all wants to come out at once.
So at 5am I went for a run.
Heck it is hot already today.
Came back – sat down to write.
Nope – still too much – all the topics in my head yammering and sticking their hands up “pick me, pick me” they shout.
Arrgh. I’ll be back.
Pack the lunches send the men off to work. Poor things – so hot outside today. Scorching dry wind greets me as I open the door to take the trash over to the skip.
I have a shower.
Try on umpteen outfits trying to pick the right one and amidst the frustration of trying to suit my mood to a dress/shorts/tunic blah blah blah like most women I start with a bra.
It is so hot here and set to get hotter – we are in a heatwave and I have to go down town Christmas shopping today. I don’t want to do it in this bra. Three bras later and I could seriously burn the lot. The only thing a bra is good for is stopping things jiggle aka sports bra.
Pink, dark pink, black and white. They lie at my feet like discarded ribbons. Girls things. I hate girls things sometimes they turn into torture instruments. I am female therefore enjoy being feminine but bras on a hot day?
Yuck. I actually feel more feminine without one.
Yet it is our female lot in life to – at a certain age – don a bra and then wear one for the rest of our lives here on earth.
Oh God “lives here on earth” it is a life sentence.
A bra for life.
I think we even chose one for Mum as part of her burial outfit. I can’t remember – it was very sad – I remember we chose lovely plain white cotton undies and did so with great pleasure and tears because for the last 6 years of her life she was incontinent and had to wear nappies. It felt like in that one choice of crisp cotton undies we (my sister and I) restored her dignity and womanhood.
But I digress – we are talking about bras. Or I am and if you are a woman you know what I’m talking about and if you are a man – well I’ve probably lost you by now – unless you are following along in somewhat bemused interest. And I get that- after all every female relation you know and all your female friends wears one.
And we don’t wear them for men. Unless they are those lacy frilly what nots that are also uncomfortable.
I’m not talking about dressing for seduction anyway – I’m talking about dressing for every day things like going to get groceries. Believe me gents we are not thinking of you when we put on a bra and go grocery shopping. Nope we are thinking about lettuce and tomatoes and all the things we put on the list and then we forget the list and then…
Sorry – I got distracted. Bras. Who we wear them for. Not men.
I made this discovery when I landed upon the somewhat radical notion to go without one this morning.
I asked myself – why do I care? Who is going to be so offended if I don’t wear a bra. I am covered from head to toe in serviceable breathable cotton. Nobody can see a thing through what I am wearing. I am not being in the slightest bit provocative – heaven forbid it is far too hot for that and besides I’m not interested in flaunting my teacup sized boobs. I just want to be able to feel cooler and less constricted in what is absolutely disgusting weather conditions.
So why was I standing in front of my wardrobe even having the debate? Whose opinion was I concerned over?
Women are the ones who judge other women and they can do so harshly at times. Men don’t – well mostly they don’t. They don’t care – I know this because I have asked my husband and he was bemused by the whole issue – “do whatever you want” he said.
That is men (in our western society at least). Please yourself. That’s what they do – they please themselves. They expect us to do the same. It’s our fault we don’t do do this ladies. To the average male it is – simple.
Women are far from simple.
I was reading that book – one I mentioned a week or so back in a post “Rise Sister Rise“. The author Rebecca Campbell put it that women are still persecuting each other because in the times of witchcraft when thousands of women were put to death for even the slightest hint of “different” we were forced to turn on each other to save ourselves and our families – this left a deep scar on the female psyche which has been carried forward in history.
I don’t know if that is true (although some of my cells harken and prick up when I hear such things so there may be an element to it) but I do know that it is women – not men – who dictate what and how other women wear their clothes.
So having taken that into account together with the fact that I will indeed bump into quite a few women in my unbound state down town I have arrived at this.
Get over it ladies.
And men – if you have a problem – it is indeed your problem so …Go solve it yourself.
I also think that maybe just maybe that the more that women just do as they please the more women will have the courage to do as they please and there will be a whole less female frustration in the world.
Why we in Western societies who have so much freedom to do exactly what we choose are still locked into arcane ways of thinking is beyond me. It’s a bra. I’m covered by another layer of clothing – why if I choose not to (I”m still arguing with myself here…) do I feel wrong in making that choice – to not wear a bra.
See it’s me! It’s me that has the problem with it.
Get over yourself Kate.
So many things in life we give away to other people to decide. I have talked about this in The futility of wondering in other peoples heads yet here I was this morning spending half an hour doing just that.
Life is just too short. And too hot. Do what you want. Just do whatever you want. Wear a bra. Don’t wear a bra. Get the haircut – don’t get the haircut. Buy the shoes don’t buy the shoes (always buy the shoes:) You choose and be happy with your choice after all you made it and isn’t it wonderful to be able to choose. So many women around the world can’t. For my freedom, I’m deeply grateful and for their lack of freedom – I’ll read and I’ll inform myself and I’ll help in whatever way that I can because it is deeply concerning on every level that women should not be able to enjoy and equally take part in this thing we call life on this planet we call earth.
But that is another post. This is about bras and boobs and something else that has lost its way in translation from the top of the post to the bottom.
I’d love to hear any other opinions or comments on this subject. Obviously I’m not going to turn into a complete hippie overnight (although I’d like to – I truly would like to 🙂 just today – it’s hot.
I know larger breasted women feel far more comfortable in a bra then without. I have to wear one when I run or exercise or it’s painful. They certainly have their place.
It is an interesting internal debate – I’m wondering how that would play out with more input. So feel free to comment below.
Cheers and have a lovely day.
Oh and here is some more reading on to bra or not to bra.
Meg Zulch on 7 things that happen when you stop wearing a bra.
Womens Health – Do’s and Don’ts No bra etiquette. though if you’re a bit of a rule breaker which most braless women are anyway – then…do whatever you want.
This BraFree org one is great and raised a lot of health issues I hadn’t even considered.
The perks – scuse the pun but we all like the idea of perks.
Then there is this last one – you will see it is coming from a different age group a younger set of women (then I am). It has some language in it which may be confronting (it isn’t to me because all language is just language – as a writer and I use where and as appropriate). However – heads up – it may offend.
Why I included it is not just because the girls make a few good points in the article but for the comments sections. The comments section is so often gold and this one certainly is. It has male viewpoints as well as females and it really fired me up (though I didn’t comment). Obviously there are trolls and males that are idiots and just blatantly rude we can’t do much about them as I would tell my sons – some people just aren’t brought up correctly however – a very interesting read.
So there you go – a few different view points if you find the subject interesting.