The moon was a gilt eyelid
Curving
A single star tear drop
below
I closed my eyes
And it slid onto my pillow
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The moon was a gilt eyelid
Curving
A single star tear drop
below
I closed my eyes
And it slid onto my pillow
Love it. Sometimes these really short ones are so powerful. Always loved the short shorts of all kinds, too. My tears used to drip slowly into my ears as I would lie in bed. Though I don’t cry much anymore… too bad really. You paint lovely pictures with your words. I drop hints to a couple other poets I follow to stop using flowery abstractions and be visual. Once in a while they are. I’m not really a poet but I know good writing. I like to let visuals work as objective correlative. Not say things directly — my Hemingway influence– even though my style is different otherwise. His greatest contribution to literature and often discounted. Though I read the practice had gone out of style using objective correlative — what?? Impossible, though I notice they like to tell it all now — bleed onto the page. Ok, but subtlety is more effective for me. But your work is so great.
Thanks Lynn, that’s such a lovely compliment. Poetry comes out everyone differently, this is just the way it comes through me
Yes, I suppose. But vivid concrete detail is so much better than flowery abstractions. It comes naturally to you.
I think it’s because things often come to me in chunks of fully formed poems or at least the idea is – then I just have to write it down – I don’t tinker with my poetry it falls out and I have (at least here on the blog) decided not to try and write “pretty” Bukowski said once something about (I don’t remember it clearly) if a ladies dress accidentally blows up it’s a beautiful moment but if she tries to recreate it on purpose it becomes contrived and therefore less for it (he probably used far harsher terms 😂 the point being sometimes the raw and real writing just the way it falls is what makes something beautiful even if it is flawed – you think by adding to it later it enhances but actually it detracts. That poem from yesterday with the quote from Hemmingway fell just like that into my head while I was running – I stopped and sent myself a message from my watch to ensure I didn’t lose it – I thought I could really work that into something but the short rough version in the end was perfect so..this is a very lengthy reply to say basically yes I agree 😊always love your comments and the chat Lynn.
Well, some of this is the part you can’t teach and you have that. Some of it can be improved some, and there’s your willingness to work every day on your craft, but some is just an innate talent. I think what I love about your writing is just that rawness, that refusal to use words to obfuscate or to make yourself look brilliant — just tell one true thing every day. As Hemingway said. And be clear about it. 🙂
Great compliments thank-you Lynn, tucked away in my heart.
Blessings to all …Thank God that probably the fires are quenched in Australia …
Please pray for Yemeni people to have peace , prosperity , reconstruction after the war , adequate supply of food and medical supplies…
I take that back. I had the idea that if my kids were working from home right now and they stocked up for two weeks’ groceries that they could come visit us. Might be perfect timing before they open the economy again. My son just replied they are ordering him back into the office Monday and that made me cry. My heart just sank. I might not see him in person for a year or more. And he has a job that could easily happen at home. He’s a computer cad guy in the worst part of Michigan where all the disease is. It seems like it’s one extreme or another. Yes, go back to work, but where possible, keep up the precautions. I feel so sad. And he is recovering from testicular cancer. He may or may not be more at risk.
Oh I feel your pain Lynn – it’s funny I never realised when they were younger that one day I would have to go without them for long stretches and breathe them in deep short gulps when I did. My sons are so precious as I’m sure all kids are to their parents – such a crushing disappointment
Yes, it’s really hard. I have such high risk folks here, but am still thinking maybe if Johnny was really really careful he could come, too, Memorial weekend. My daughter and son-in-law and my grandson are all working from home and only have to go to the grocery store for a good long time. So they will come for sure at least. But it still bothers me greatly about John. I’m sure it’s the precariousness of getting ill suddenly and not seeing those we love. We are not the only ones affected by this. These poor people are dying all alone, no funerals. Such a sad thing.
The lonely funerals and deaths without bedside farewells are dreadful.
Loved the artistic imagery with which you created this poetic masterpiece. ✌️
Thank you Sidharth, that’s a very kind compliment.
I don’t compliment, I just share my honest outlook. 😅 You deserve the praise!
Very supple and silky writing
Thanks! Lovely way to describe it.
My pleasure
Beautiful 🙂 I keep those tears tucked away behind many walls, maybe that’s why I have to pee all the time
Bahahaha! That’s so good. So good. Maybe.
I stuff and stuff and then it comes out in anger 🙁 I had a fit last night…….blind rage. Gotta get a handle. I started reading a book on a very sensitive subject at it unearthed too much too quick