The day is not begun

And I am already shredded

Was it the coffee

Revving, foot to the floor of my adrenals?

Tyres smoking

Immobile

One part says I should be already on the bike

Pedalling improving moving

But soft rain is falling

And even though it won’t be here long

(There is a crimson strip of dawn showing on the horizon)

The idea of rain

Makes me snuggle deeper in my bed

I should be

And the should be’s mount up

But with nowhere to go they just end up

Lying around on the floor

Watching the fan turn

Whispering in their skin

As they roll over

Saying

I should

Again and again

Which makes me perversely dig in

Deeper

And say

Today I am not

But habit is a powerful thing

It clings like dog burr

And prickles me

Uncomfortably

Get up get up get up

No

I am shredded

Torn like paper strips flapping

My mind hangs hollow

And the sounds of restless thoughts

Zoom around like kids clattering on skateboards

It

Is

Annoying

And now here comes the sun

A sheepish child

Sneaking into this day

Playing a game was all it was

And I foolishly played along

And now my chance is gone

I fear I’ll just be flimsy and torn

All day long

Bum 😖

Written 7/4/22