It’s been a couple of days since I was last writing on the blog.
The header photo was the last day of our holiday at the beach.
The storm clouds seemed to be a portent of some kind.
Perhaps they were.
It’s been busy.
We have been travelling home from holidays, sorting and organising, unpacking. You know the drill – always the same after holidays – the dreaded return.
Return to “downloading 110 emails” bugger!
Return to parched gardens and dusty verandahs. Dusty everything.
Wilted house plants.
Picking up pets from the boarding kennel and settling everyone in again.
Return to cooking again.
Return to cleaning and regular jobs and routine.
In between I have been reading a book Spark Joy by Marie Kondo.
With the new year already in progress I thought now would be a good time to finish off my tidying up which was started two years ago when I read the original book.
Both books are brilliant and life changing – although I hadn’t gotten all the way through my entire house the previous time, I had certainly made great inroads and learnt a lot about myself and how to do the tidying up properly.
The method as prescribed by Marie is to sort all of your household on the following principal – you only keep things which spark joy.
And it is a wonderful principal – there is a lot more to it of course and if you read the books – which I highly recommend – your life will change.
Only keeping the things which spark joy.
What if you are forced to relinquish one of the the things which truly sparks great joy in your heart?
Marie talks about having clients that do not actually know what sparks joy or how to begin the process.
I know what sparks joy in my heart. Big joy. The type of emotion that instantly hums all the way through me and causes a huge beaming smile to appear on my face – every single time.
My two sons
After that there is a diverse range of things which spark joy.
And this week, on the same day that we all arrived home from holidays my youngest son moved out of home and into a shared house with four of his best mates since early childhood.
It was of course with our blessing and a big part of me was so happy for this wonderful time in his life and I waved and smiled and looked as cheery as hell until he drove away with a cheeky grin and beep of his horn.
Then I cried.
I’ll still see him almost every day. He is only moving approximately 5km away.
But just as we don’t choose what sparks joy – it just happens – we can’t choose what sparks sadness either.
I think what sparked this sadness was the closure.
The closure of a door on a room devoid of my son and his special things.
All that was left was that which did not spark joy for him.
Things like old hats, clothes that didn’t fit, books that he didn’t want – stuff – the left overs of his life up to that point.
The closing of a door that led to his life under the same roof with us, his parents.
A door I used to walk past every night and say “good night Pat” and get a rumbly reply.
A door I always knew that my sparky beautiful son lay sleeping safely behind.
Ghosts of a baby, a toddler, a little boy, a gangly teenager all lurking behind that door.
A thousand memories.
So I had my evening of melancholy.
I understand sadness and it has a purpose.
Sadness allows us to let go and to do so in a healthy way.
This morning I was up at 5am
The storm had passed. I was back to my usual self again.
I didn’t go there. That was yesterdays journey.
So I opened that door again and started cleaning and scrubbing it into shape. It is a bare space full of potential as an organised and tidy storage room. God knows we need a descent storage room!
And I went to lunch with my son and as he rounded the corner of the shopping centre to meet me as usual he sparked joy in my heart.
Such a wonderful feeling and a wonderful way to describe it.
May you have much in your heart