The devaluing process of self editing

I’m tired today

Not a lot of sleep

My ego took a fall from a great height

When I say fall

I may have pushed it

It exhausts me

With its endless petty fears

and unfortunately writing

Is sometimes where I find it

Hovering over my shoulder

Whispering

Say this

Say that

Oh Lord don’t say that

They will attack

They will all leave no likes

No Love

Statistics will plummet

Perhaps we should go and look at statistics again

Bloody statistics – who’s great idea was that to the obsessive compulsive mind

First rule of blogging

Don’t look at the stats

What sort of person actually does that?

I would like those stats

On who doesn’t look at them

Thankyou

Anyway I am lucky

I have a wise force within – a bit like Yoda

To whom I cling

When things get out of hand with the ego

Although

my inner Yoda is about as helpful as

Well

Yoda

At times

“It is with her you must deal – not me”

“Sit with yourself or be sat on”

Sit with yourself and breathe or be sat on

Sit

Or be sat on

That’s what came out of my inner Yoda this morning

Sit or be sat on

Helpful

Well I’ve been sat on all night

So I am a bit short of breath

And I’m also tired of editing

So

This blog post goes out with my ego tied up in the corner

Duct tape over its mouth

It’s desperately shaking it’s head

Tidy that post up instead

It’s just a meaningless rant

But as Seth says

“Sometimes you’ve just got to ship it”

Sit or be sat on – so now I’m doing some Yoga and meditation.

Guess I choose to sit.

I’m actually incredibly grateful for the follows and interaction that I have received here at WordPress – yesterday I just found myself taking everything too seriously and putting to much pressure on myself – that’s when I realised that just for a moment – I had lost the point of blogging.

This is a creative outlet that infuses me with energy and helps my other writing projects so much. The bloody stats thing had me by the eyeballs and I was overthinking posts – was this one too negative (plagiarism rant) this one too flippant (makeup thing – omg that was a selfie in there what was I thinking?)

I enjoy the communication and and meeting other bloggers as people follow and comment both here and on their own blogs.

This is what is important not the stats.

So.

I just put this here to remember that and as a note to anyone who may have a similar experience.

Happy Thursday (it is here anyway) hoping for rain to ease the dry crackle in the air and on the ground. So if you read this post pray for rain for Australia – everywhere needs it – well not up north – so don’t wish for it there 😊

Header image: Ocean liner leaving the port in Freemantle WA aka “ship it”

35 thoughts on “The devaluing process of self editing

    • Very pragmatic Len I appreciate it. Oh I wish I had a bucket full of your rain out dirt is parched here, sold the little herd of cattle a month or so ago – it will come. The kids umbrellas will muck up their costumes no doubt but there will be laughter – it will be lovely.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I LOVED this post! Thanks a lot for writing about this. Not related to blogging, but I burned myself out with the stats aspect of it all when I was first on Instagram and it resulted in major anxiety. I tend to obsess quite easily with little details, both at work and in my personal life, and the “stats trap” was easily set for me on Social Media. Re-joined recently with a lot of learnings on what NOT to do! 🙂 So far so good. Taking it easy with the blog too so I don’t start stressing about numbers.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I mostly don’t obsess about numbers and just enjoy my blog as the creative outlet it is for me but yesterday I suddenly got really intense about everything – probably tired or something – it’s gone now that awful heavy feeling that feeling of lightness and relief is so much more conducive to creativity – it’s a thing that gets anyone now and then I think. I’m really enjoying twitter this time round too – I just didn’t get it last time – now I’m like ohhh this is what we do😳🤭🥳🥰

      Like

  2. Right, so let’s try this again. The numbers are, well, they just are. For me, they’re not like they once were before I fell ill and couldn’t quite keep as active as I was. But you’re right. The important part is the connections. The little conversations we can have with virtually anyone we choose. The creative outlet and the friendships are what is most important. Stats take a back burner position when the stuff that matters is front and center.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. ‘…First rule of blogging …Don’t look at the stats…’ Yep, they’ll rot your brain, that’s for sure! 😀 … I look at ’em when I’m responding to comments because they’re there on my dashboard, but I almost always smile and carry on. At worst they’re a reminder to post something sometime in the near future.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. In moments of doubt, I tell people to ask themselves why they are here (i.e. blogging platform). Usually it’s a reason that is not related to stats. That realization can be helpful. It works for me during crisis times. I’ve had plenty of people tell me not to look at stats. I advice doing it, too, if you become neurotic over it. However, like you implied – that’s easier said than done. I think those people that never care about stats actually do care at least to some extend.

    To me, stats often don’t make much sense (why something gets more attention that something else). I see plenty of posts about mental health issues and rants that do superbly. Time after time, people come and support the writer with their Likes and comments. In fact, I think some people realized that and are making a pattern out of it. I remember doing such a deeply vulnerable post once. It was not nearly as well received as someone else’s constant posts. Oh, well.

    Like you said, to me this is about writing, connecting with people, and getting to know their experiences and opinions. So far, I have not been disappointed in that department.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I fell upon this and was captivated by the style as well as the content, seemingly tongue-in-cheek.
    Some time ago I realized I was writing to an audience composed almost entirely of other writers joining the same blog platform all seeking to be read, heard, understood, discovered.
    Why wouldn’t a writer “Like” something that looked like it meant something to the writer (regardless of any message or even personal likes/dislikes)?
    Like an artist walking through a museum. I am unlikely to say “That’s crap.” (unless it’s cubism), and more likely to say “I wonder what the artist was trying to say.” (Although I’m thinking “How much lead-based paint must this artist have eaten?”)
    I don’t even promote my blog anywhere, and still folks find and like my posts. I even have some regular readers I know by name. Well, maybe my crappy stuff is only half-crappy!
    So anyways, I took an industrious leap and copy+pasted my blog posts into a book.
    Got an ISBN number and published in paperback on Amazon and ebook in the Kindle Store.
    Do you know the sound effect that’s total silence save the chirping of a solitary cricket?
    Chirp. Chirp. Chirp.

    Enough for now. I’d apologize for commandeering your blog and putting up a post-sized comment, but I do it all the time, and in fact there’s a good chance you’ll see this reply as a post on my blog.

    Seek peace,

    Paz

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m not chasing after numbers. I published mostly for fun. It’s a hobby.
    You can see the first book (number two and three are on the way already) on Amazon, search for “Sasha Of The Chukchi Sea”.

    Paz

    Liked by 1 person

  7. You certainly hit the right button there! I think almost everyone out there relates to what you’ve so cleverly written. It’s the engagement which is important, and worthwhile, not the ‘random’ numbers.
    Hoping your rains arrive soon, everyone here in the Western Cape of South Africa understands what you’re going through. Thankfully we had some good rain this winter 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Chris yes I think first time around I thought it was a bit do a numbers thing but this time I have relaxed and am just finding the engagement awesome. It’s the old story of what you put in is what you get out – and I enjoy all the different sites I stumble across – I was just reading yours – great stories you’ve got going there – I will follow along and enjoy them. Africa – ahh well you would know about it – I know a few South African expats here and they all say Australia is a similar climate.

      Like

  8. I have sometimes fallen into the stats ‘bear pit’ recently Miriam. I started my blog for the sole reason of telling my kids about the oddities and joys in my life. And then let the content expand. I had no idea that ‘followers’ even existed. The joy, as you say, is when somebody is inspired by or ‘gets’ your post. Your writing is very lucid and beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

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