Uncertainty
Is the crunch of tin foil on the fillings in my teeth
Yet I cannot spit
The only way is through
For now I must chew
On all these ineffable feelings
My skin wants to shrink
Instead it must expand
Giving way to all of this unnerving swell
Giving it room
Delivering myself
Unto myself
My only tools
The mind
And how well I do
As I walk through these feelings of impending doom
Lifting the wet blanket of my inner worrier
One corner
At a time
Changing the bed I used to lie in
Over and over
*Toppling personal belief systems is one thing – one damn difficult thing after another
I’ve never sat easily with uncertainty – have always sought reassurance – another persons advice on the matter
Then ignored it or found it not enough
The thing is
Other people’s advice
it is never enough because it is not certainty
And it is certainty that we crave when we ask advice or direction
Yet we rarely find it
Once we start to take great big steps forward out of the mind and into the real world which is full of chaos and changeability and humans and a thousand variables
Where people die in car smashes on the way to work with their heads still full of plans and their lunch beside them on the seat, a new diet commenced – this time they are getting healthy.
Oh the irony
And there are so many!
It’s all very well to hypothesise and listen to pod casts and read books
And say “I would..”
But when the chips are down and it’s decision time how many say firmly “I will..” and begin
Bravely
To take up the hands of uncertainty and chaos and make a commitment to not let go
No matter how hot and uncomfortable that grip becomes
I’m pleased to say
I’m now one
And give myself a little pat on the back
Header photo – A bookie and his bag captured at the local races. I loved this photo when I took it. The age of the bag – the stance of the man, this ancient tradition. Humans have been gambling a long time.
How do you know which way it will go – even with a favourite tipped in the race. Take punt and enjoy the ride – that’s all you can do.
A great piece of writing!!
Thankyou 😊
You are most welcome! It amazes me how you can keep up the pace of writing without losing the quality! You are very talented or lucky or both 😉
Thankyou that is such a lovely thing to hear. It’s made my day – which is great because the day is only just begin and it could very well be all down hill from here although I hope not. 😬😂
Haha, you are so very welcome. It’s true!
Hope that your day is a good one for you and yours 🙂
You too. Have a great day that is 😊
Life is a gamble, a crapshoot. We take our chances. We roll the dice and see where they land. A thoughtful piece Kate.
I think we have to unhitch ourselves from the prize in order to gamble well Len.