I’ve been a bit of an idiot – follow along with me and I’ll tell you how it went..
Where are you hitting the ball?
First rule of golf
Placement of body
Look where you want to go
Right, got that?
Now bring your eyes back to the small white ball on the ground
Don’t take your eyes off it
If you followed all the correct steps to alignment
and kept your eyes on the ball
Nine times out of ten
You can now watch the magic of that little white ball
going exactly where you wanted it to go
It’s a very simple game, golf
Humans make it incredibly difficult
And when you get it wrong
You’re in for a frustrated march through the shrubbery
I’ve been wacking about in the bushes the last few days and just like golf it has been growing increasingly frustrating as I hit the ball harder and harder and achieve absolutely nothing except more solitary hikes around the outskirts of the fairway, seemingly growing further and further from the little hole at the end, marked by a flag
I lost sight of it around Thursday last week
Maybe even before that.
When I began this magazine venture I was in alignment and to be honest everything looked fairly easy
Perhaps a Par 4
Then that pitfall of all golfers appeared
And it just got wider and harder to cross the more I looked at it
I am speaking in metaphor
Because sometimes allegory adds so much to the lesson and I don’t want to learn this one again
My water trap was money.
We are told that success is measured in money
We are told that if we do something we should be paid for it
I did an entire module on money and belief systems in life coaching
You know what it showed me?
(and what I seem to have forgotten here)
Money isn’t important to me
Never has been
Never will be
It’s not that I think it’s toxic or anything
Love the stuff – it’s very useful
I just know that I’ve been broke and happy
And I’ve been moderately wealthy and happy
The thing that makes me happy isn’t money
When I was broke I still made art, although I use the term loosely because some of my earlier creations were a little dodgy perhaps
But it made me enormously happy to make them
And they were cheap
Now I have a moderate amount of money
And I haven’t spent any in weeks simply because I’ve been so happy creating.
When I’m not being creative
I spend money on other peoples creations
But they don’t make me as happy as making my own – nowhere near it
With my writing at the moment and in particular Audacity magazine
I haven’t been this happy in a long long long time
Creating makes me whistle and bounce and laugh out loud
As soon as I switch my focus though, from creating the best thing I can just for the pure joy of watching it come to life to “how can I make this pay?”
Things become difficult and I begin wacking into the trees
And what annoys me most is I’m not even doing it for me, because I don’t care about money
I’m doing it for Steve – because I don’t want him to be working so hard anymore
I want him to enjoy life as much as I do
Because I enjoy my life so much I feel guilty right now and if I can turn my passion into money
Then he can go surf
And I would love that
Would I surf?
Hell yes, but I would then be straight back behind a computer because I love writing
And you know what is doubling annoying
Steve would hate it that I am doing this, like this, for this reason
So it is a lose/lose situation
As it is
Any time a beautiful thing is turned into an exercise for making money
And I’m mentioning it here – because it is something that happens to many people
And I don’t think you shouldn’t make money from what you make
Not at all
You should definitely be paid
The devaluation of art and creativity right now is on a scale unprecedented in human history
So yes being paid is important
Just don’t focus on how
Focus on the creating
The how will work itself out
The oldest self help manual in the world will tell you that
“To give and not to count the cost, to labor and not to seek reward”
Not because all that is due to you won’t be given and you are supposed to slug away like some sort of pointless slave
But because that is not the point of creation
I only need enough money to pay for my subscriptions for music licencing, video licencing, Canva Pro, Issuu and what not
Basically I need my tools to create and for those tools to be paid for by my art – that is sensible
So I created books – which will hopefully sell
And Patreon (which isn’t working apart from my family and close friends coming on board so far) but its there and who knows down the track if I create enough value in the world, then the universe will start pouring some money in my Patreon piggy bank and my tools will be paid for
Other than that
The thing is about money is not that it is evil or anything
it is just distracting and in that it can become a snare
Particularly when you are doing something creative
You begin with all the energy and passion and enthusiasm
The process of creation itself sustains this so you aim higher and higher and everything is effortless and energy is unlimited
You are in the zone
Then someone says
“Wow – this is great – you should make money out of this”
And if you listen?
You are no longer just enjoying the game of golf and the fine spring afternoon, simply heading for the little flag at the end
You are aiming at this tree
and that tree
and the damn water trap that you can’t get over
and after awhile you forget you are even playing golf
and start maybe thinking – you know what? If the ball was bigger I wouldn’t have so much trouble hitting it
So you get a bigger ball
But then you need a bigger club
and pretty soon
The game looks nothing like golf
A few days go past and then your inner wise woman hands you a photo she has just taken
Because she knows you won’t listen to her – stopped listening three days ago
but a picture tells a thousand words
And you stare at the picture dumbfounded
You’re standing in the trees like an idiot with a tennis racket, a basket ball and jockey’s helmet on your dumbarse head looking sheepish
(Helmet? Because hell those golf balls come back fast and hard when you’re wacking them into trees!)
Anyway, I saw this snapshot – thank you inner wise woman
I took some big breaths and stepped out of the trees
I did my 10K run yesterday and as usual that settles my animal
I have a body that gets toxic if it isn’t taken out and put through its paces – the energy stagnates in there
It cleared things up for me a lot
This morning I did my usual 5k then tromped around another 6km with the dogs
My animal is happy
It ate a healthy breakfast staring out the window
Suddenly I saw the flag down the end of the fairway again
I saw everything
I’m back in alignment
And now I’m going back to playing golf
Thanks for putting up with me in the meantime.
The magazine looks amazing this month. The stories humble me. Last night I sat up reformatting all of my new book (ebook and paperback versions) that is coming out the 1st October. Do I hope it sells well? Oh God yes please but my focus last night was on ensuring that the value and content and layout was as perfect as I could get it – not on the fifty schemes that can turn your book into a bestseller. Do your best and get it out there in a way that provides value and enjoyment was my only intent in creating.
As it should be
Focus is everything
I’m a poet and a writer and I love inspirational human stories, particularly about those humans creating growth and change in their lives. I’m blessed to have had the good sense and an idea to create Audacity because now I get to tell those stories and help other people.
I get a little carried away sometimes
That’s what we do – we’re human
I realize I lessen myself when I tell you the workings of my brain. Most people would keep their idiocy to themselves.
My brain, it comes up with really good stuff but at the end of the day it is just a computer. That is what I need to remind myself. The blog is my song line, it’s also my reminder.
I wonder how long it will take me to work my way around this course and back to the clubhouse only to discover that I’m back in the trees again? I have a love/hate relationship with golf and rarely play it but I understand the basics as I was taught by someone who knows the game well – a lot of “around we go again” just like life.
Thanks for listening.
This appointment is over.
Next drama please.