Seeking solace


Asking questions

That make no sense

Receiving promises

Impossible to keep

Telling yourself

Okay then..

But underneath

You know nothing is going to make a spot of difference

Some things will play out the way they will

Despite the twenty questions

Forty replies

And those games we all play

With pies in the sky

-*When I was a kid, my best friend was Debbie McDonald, we went to the hostel together. Both from the bush but she was the other side of town.

Debbie went to the state school and I went to the convent but she was a very grounded girl.

The yin to my yang

My biggest fear when I was little at the hostel was that it was going to rain and I was going to get stuck in town because the dirt road that stretched past Eulo would become impassable and the creeks would come up too high for my parents to get to me.

This despite the fact that we were in the middle of a decade long drought.

Fear is irrational and it just gets worse the more it builds.


So I would ring Mum from the hostel mid week if there were any clouds in the sky ..

“No darling it won’t rain” she would say

Not enough. Mothers had to say things like that.

So I would start on Debbie – who was no meteorologist nor had even a vague interest in it

What I loved about Debbie was she always said

“No way it won’t rain!”

Which would keep me in confidence for about an hour if there were storm clouds in the west and then I would have to ask her again

She was very patient with me

Probably some nights she quietly fantasised about smothering me with a pillow while I slept


She was right too

It didn’t

And in all those years I think I got stuck in town just one week-end due to rain and it turned out great anyway because I got to stay with eldest brother, (he lived on another property closer to town) and eat junk food

I was just reminded of this watching a movie

Husband going into battle

Wife asks “promise you will be okay, you will come home to me”

He promises

She still looks worried

She makes the best mate swear to look after him

He promises

But underneath

The heart is never sure

So it continues to worry

We just have to learn to live with uncertainty

I learned early

But I still hate it

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