I am walking with Hoge’s
There are grain kernels and smashed carcasses of pink and grey galahs all over the bitumen road
The grain kernels are scattered from the trucks as they bring in the bumper harvest
The galahs are so focused on picking the kernels out of the crevices in the bitumen that they fail to hear approaching traffic
It’s sad
It reminds me to look up.
The other evening Hoges and I returned home
There was a noise in the grass and Hogan pounced
And then remained in place, strung taught like a string, staring at where the rabbit had last been
Even as behind him, the agile rabbit shot out almost running into me, and hot footed it away down the road
I watched him until he was safely away and then tugged my dogs lead
“Come on, come away”
It reminds me to look around
And indeed I do
At the first evening stars switching on in a mauve coloured sky
I breathe in and out and feel relaxation sigh through my body
It had been a week of turmoil
Finally straightened out when I found myself sat between two people who cannot speak to me anymore, but who I often hear in my head
It had been a while since I visited them
There I sat with one hand over Dads bones and one hand over Mums
Listening to the evening hum of insects thinking of what they might have said and done
Memory is a wonderful thing like that
And although there was six feet of soil and grass between us
I heard their whispers, their laughter, conversations from long ago, making sense even in the present moment
Their wisdom, my folly and so many questions unravelled by the simple sitting and recalling what they were like and how they would tell me
No one loves you like your parents
Others can know you, know parts of you, they can love and cherish and hold you
But not quite like the DNA patterns of your own blood
And although I probably looked a bit odd
I sat there until we were done
Talking without words
Listening without words
Staring into the abyss of self that shimmers in front of us when we are thinking
Not living
It reminds me to know that time is passing, that nothing else really matters
Look at them
They were once fifty
Now they’re dead
So do what you love, but look up, look around, and then head down again
No one is so special that they live on forever
And nothing is so important that the wrangling of it causes you to lose your life
Perhaps even while it is passing
Because life happens to us, around us, through us. It happens whether we are looking or not. It is not convenient or even nice sometimes. It can be very annoying and upsetting.
“I haven’t got time for this!”
Problem, trouble, sickness, accident, chaos
Yet it arises
And so must we
Every day, because we are so fortunately free
To be able to make decisions one after the other after the other
Equilibrium is difficult to find. I have looked for mine in many places, mostly nature
At times I find it, at times it is simply a matter of letting time run itself out a distance, and then slowly drawing it back in again
Mostly I have learnt to let turmoil be, until it turns into peace
Eventually it finds me, walking along a road somewhere with a dog on a lead, and I breathe
Much as I did this morning
Good morning to you, and have a lovely day 💕
Beautiful to read
Thank you 😊
Yes! Wonderful sentiments!
Thanks Colin 😊
It’s always a weird moment to stand by the grave but you captured the optimistic side as only you can!
It is weird Colin. Its taken me a long time to be able to sit and remember further back instead of recent history and how ill my parents were at the end of their lives. Its actually a lovely experience to visit them now, and I go far more often.
You are right Kate, it is weird! I think maybe we were too close to see the change? To me, my parents were locked in my mind to some mid-70s snapshot. I never really felt them age. However, when I see the last photos, I think “how on earth did I not see how ill they had become!” The mind plays with us, always.
The underlying theme of this piece reminds me of Howard Jacobson’s ‘Shylock is my name’. Thid is a compliment, in case this needs saying.
The imagery that you use will stay with me for a while, I think.
Thanks
DD
Thank you, I don’t know the reference and will gave to look him up, regardless, a lovely compliment.
I’m thinking you may enjoy’it; I hope so
Apologies for typo!
No need!
beautiful ruminations, uplifing and inspirational ; thanks 🙂
Thanks John 😊
Your post is full of wisdom. Reading it was like discovering a very interesting world and I’m very curious and will read more of your stuff. Many greetings from Italy, from my dogs and my cats.
Hello from Australia to Italy 🇮🇹 thanks for your lovely comment. Dogs and cats! I have heard of them co existing but have always just stuck with one species – dogs. I would like to have cats but they simply won’t get along with the dogs or my wildlife – cats tend to hunt the birds which I would hate to lose – they are my alarm clocks for one thing, and my great enjoyment for another.
I look forward to hearing from you further – enjoy your day (or evening) 😊
This is a beautiful piece of writing, Kate. So full of meaning and love. I particularly like the line, ‘Mostly I have learnt to let turmoil be until it turns into peace.’ I shall try to take a lesson from this powerful yet gentle statement. Love to you, my friend Xx 💓
The is Ellie. Yes emotions are powerful things, they are meant to be as they can be transformative, yet they also transform into other feelings if we allow them time to move through us.
Oh my gosh, how beautiful was that? With tears in my eyes 👁️ thank you for your words of peace ✌️