There is a lot in me
Far too much to contain at times
It can come out in “wrong” ways if I let it
So when I feel too much
And can no longer expand without busting
I take myself off
And breathe into vast spaces that can hold me
And then I can go back to being normal again
With just the right amount of energy
Not too much
Or too little
Not too smiley
Or talkative
Me
But
Not enough that would give it away or make anyone uncomfortable
Just enough to fit in
*I don’t care about fitting in anymore thank goodness, but I do prefer the feeling of being balanced and not overly emotional. Big days like Mother’s Day with all the history of myself with my Mum, the regrets of not always living up to my high (read impossible) standards with my own kids. Just everything really.
I thought I would be best going to let off my steam on a long drive to a beautiful place in nature that I love. Settling down, doing some writing, getting it all out and then returning.
And then I was fine again.
Able to behave like a normal person.
I don’t know exactly how that feels, normal – but I know what it looks like. Calm, collected, not overly energised or talking too much. An adult.
And that’s what I am able to do once I have processed my vast emotional field and condensed it into something that will fit back in my chest again.
We all have vast and unexplored interiors – looking into natures mirror, her hills and valleys, shadows and brightly lit folds, her endless skies and broad horizons, helps.
Happy Mother’s Day – to all the deep ones out there X
I’m deep and vast with you, my friend. So many beautiful and understood lines. You have a way of always explaining my emotions in such imagery and words. Happy belated Mother’s Day! Much love! 💕💐
Happy Mothers Day to you as well Karla. I write to explain my own tangles to myself, perhaps we are of a similar mind. I think we are. ❤️
We really are. My heart and head nod when I read your words. We are truly connected. ❤️
❤️
I like this poem, this practice very much. I shall try it. It may prevent me having my infrequent but off putting ‘meltdowns’; I like how i come to calm just reading it; thank you 🙂
Thank you John, the poem is simple, but it encompasses a lifetime of learning how to feel comfortable with my unique way of existing in the world. We are so individual, and strive particularly in the younger years, to be the same. I wish we could be taught to appreciate and manage our particular characteristics instead, for in those traits lies our potential.
I’m glad I read this simple,little poem, the pod of much wisdom —
ps I’m going to read it gain before I hit the sack; let it sink in —
Ha ha – thank-you and sleep well