I didn’t realise
As some kind of invisible accessory
I have taken it off now
Tell me your story again…
*there is a difference between hearing and listening
And it becomes instantly apparent
When we err
Or it did to me this morning – hence the second post while it comes to me
So hopefully I won’t make the same mistake again
But I probably will – being human
Anyway the point is
It’s not about me
And that is the difference between hearing and listening I believe
With hearing we are judging, analysing, fixing, sorting
Asking “hmm how does this apply to me?”
Of course we tell ourselves that we are being helpful, assisting, reassuring, bolstering, kind or some other kind of ego crap
But really all we are doing is filtering
And when someone is sharing thoughts
They don’t actually need all that
And they certainly don’t need your filter
They just want someone to listen
Listening is being present
Like a lake that one sits beside
The ripples show they have heard
They have received
Yet they don’t return to cover the stone thrower in a wave of sympathy
Stone throwers don’t want words
They want to be heard
And now I’ve learnt the difference
My sincerest apologies for the times in which
I have got this wrong
As a writer the first thing I reach for is words
Sometimes they just aren’t very useful though
5 thoughts on “Tone deaf – Hearing vs Listening”
Society today much.
Yes – agreed!
Great thoughts and a lovely work! And you are absolutely right when you say that some people only want you to listen, they don’t want words and the metaphor of the lake is a great one for it really helps you visualise the situation quite clearly.
All the best, greetings and wishes for a lovely weekend!
I’m guilty of finding words that relate to the tellers story so they don’t feel so alone. Sometimes I find WAY too many words to be helpful. There’s a word surplus store in my brain and I let go of inventory at the most inopportune times!
Words are usually hopeless right when we need them or perhaps because the really powerful ones, the ones that are helpful – are too scary and explosive to use.