The shadow of who we think we are looms tall and wide
It blocks the light of potential that shines inside
We have to confront this false thing again and again and again
And it’s painful and raw and humbling
We tumble through space at a thousand clicks a second
Frozen in place by a sudden swoop of disturbing emotion
Realising and sighing in defeat
We are human not saints
Therefore we stumble and fall victim to the ego that whines and stops short of who we wish we were
No one is so noble, and comparison is the ultimate lie
Going forward we try
And that in itself, knowing all of the mayhem and darkness that we contain
All of the lightness and brilliance that we also often refrain from stepping into because it’s just as terrifying
And the conflict that these opposing things must surely wreak
Tangling side by side every time we open our mouths to speak
Feeling our pride hurt
Or whims forestalled
Feeling our day ruined, when actually, expectation did all of that but how do you cut expectation off at the knees?
And reading a thousand wise texts will not help us when we are caught under pressure in a guileless moment
We will not behave better until we become better
I will only ever fail on the day that I turn away and say well this is me and I will stay here, as this flawed individual
I will not change
I will not try
And standing up again after being flattened by your own volatile self censuring voice
Is an act of courage
For after all – we are our own most furious critics
And for that small thing that turns into a larger thing, and then becomes an enormous counterpoint to a life going forward
For that small thing I applaud
Anyone who tries – lives as a verb – moving forward
10 thoughts on “I try – a verb”
we do? i dont sometimes. it is better to just be.
Love your take on being still.
Something I work on daily … not to work.
Thank you for the beautiful reminder!
Thanks for reading 😊
“And standing up again after being flattened by your own volatile self censuring voice
Is an act of courage”
Yes, we are the hardest on ourselves I believe.
Well spoken Kate, and a beautiful post. We do indeed test each part of us, see our own mud and dare to remove it. Until one day it speaks back. Sometimes just a murmur, and others strong and strident. But like your words we ‘try’, and in there we dare it…to be free. Thank you for sharing 😀❤️🙏🏽
Thanks for reading Mark, I enjoy your analogy of seeing our mud and removing it. That’s exactly what it is.
lLife is a beautiful dance between mamba mentality and the embrace of this sacred moment where we are exactly who and where we are meant to be.
Well put Niki, and if it is a dance then it is no wonder we are puzzled over which move is the correct one at times forgetting it is not the steps so much as the rhythm that is important