I try – a verb

The shadow of who we think we are looms tall and wide

It blocks the light of potential that shines inside




We have to confront this false thing again and again and again

And it’s painful and raw and humbling

We tumble through space at a thousand clicks a second

Frozen in place by a sudden swoop of disturbing emotion

Realising and sighing in defeat


We are human not saints

Therefore we stumble and fall victim to the ego that whines and stops short of who we wish we were

No one is so noble, and comparison is the ultimate lie

We try

Going forward we try

And that in itself, knowing all of the mayhem and darkness that we contain

All of the lightness and brilliance that we also often refrain from stepping into because it’s just as terrifying

And the conflict that these opposing things must surely wreak

Tangling side by side every time we open our mouths to speak

Feeling our pride hurt

Or whims forestalled

Feeling our day ruined, when actually, expectation did all of that but how do you cut expectation off at the knees?

And reading a thousand wise texts will not help us when we are caught under pressure in a guileless moment

We will not behave better until we become better


We try




I will only ever fail on the day that I turn away and say well this is me and I will stay here, as this flawed individual

I will not change

I will not try


And standing up again after being flattened by your own volatile self censuring voice

Is an act of courage

For after all – we are our own most furious critics

And for that small thing that turns into a larger thing, and then becomes an enormous counterpoint to a life going forward

For that small thing I applaud

Anyone who tries – lives as a verb – moving forward

10 thoughts on “I try – a verb

  1. Well spoken Kate, and a beautiful post. We do indeed test each part of us, see our own mud and dare to remove it. Until one day it speaks back. Sometimes just a murmur, and others strong and strident. But like your words we ‘try’, and in there we dare it…to be free. Thank you for sharing 😀❤️🙏🏽

  2. lLife is a beautiful dance between mamba mentality and the embrace of this sacred moment where we are exactly who and where we are meant to be.

    • Well put Niki, and if it is a dance then it is no wonder we are puzzled over which move is the correct one at times forgetting it is not the steps so much as the rhythm that is important

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