There is a callus
That develops
In the middle of the chest
In children as we are hurt
The greater it spreads
By the time we arrive in adulthood
It is difficult to breathe
Think
Speak
Through anything but hard scar tissue.
So
there is a need
to take a scalpel
and slowly start to carve
until eventually
we find ourselves
once again
able to speak
think
and feel
through the freshly exposed heart
*I can feel it now. When I react from defensiveness or those old scars – that hard place. My humour is biting, protective, deflective.I become a little cynical or sceptical, sometimes uncaring. Sarcasm snarls. Anger unfurls, or perhaps it’s a simple case of a churlish, childish response.
Which I always regret later – I deserve better than regret for poor behaviour
I think it is not something that is ever dispensed with, the wound, it can be dressed, ointment applied. Hidden.
But I’ve found it is more helpful to recall it is there. And then act rather than react.
Only a few raw and courageous individuals, ever heal completely. The rest of us feel the pain daily, acutely at times. I think however, we can all develop the ability to allow a little space, reach for grace instead of looking through the hardened callus.
It makes all the difference – I know it has for me.
And anything can become a habit
Even thoughtfulness, kindness, forgiveness, openness and courage.
It’s a far happier, lighter place to live from.
These days I mentally withdraw (if I can’t physically) from conversations where I feel myself hardening.
I forgive people quickly, because the more I see it in myself, this callus, the more I witness it in others (and how can we not have compassion for someone who is walking the same trail as us, and finding it all difficult. )
Because it is. Life is so difficult, but it’s also beautiful.
In the header photo is my dog Bodhi. Dogs are who they are and although ill treatment can lead to altered behaviour, on the whole, they are incredibly forgiving, loving characters. We don’t deserve them. some consider them dumber or less than. I think not only dogs but many animals have higher order intelligence- they live with an integrity humans can’t match in the wild. Wolves for example, elephants for another.
They are capable of learning without developing a callus. And yes, I had to spellcheck that word and am still doubting it as I want to spell it callous – which of course is the description of behaviour that no doubt arises from an over development of the former.
I agree much better to acknowledge it’s there and work with it then let it hide and fester. I had some calluses that I wasn’t even aware of (I knew I didn’t like my behavior but not the cause). Therapy helped me uncover them and now I can usually attribute when I’m behaving poorly to them and address it with a degree of separation from the emotional hurt. Thanks for your post! Always thought provoking.
It’s the ones I’m unaware of that I’m aware are the worst. Always on the look out for those button pushes but I’m such a morass of old scar tissue at times I can’t see the wood for the trees.
Wow that’s a lot of mixed metaphors 😂
Haha. Metaphors are best mixed, not shaken. 😜
So true. I can flip on a dime with the right trigger. I am trying to react thoughtfully. It’s worth trying.
The big button is located in our chest – so easy to push and stress – no wonder so many die from heart complications Martha. It’s strange that the act of uncovering and losing the protection is what actually works to heal us and build resilience. As usual humans have it backwards. ❤️
Right in the chest. Calluses. It’s so sad. We all need to be kind to ourselves.
I like you saying how you disengage mentally. That’s the thing to do, really.
Be well. Sending healing graces. 🤗
Thanks Selma ❤️
Your photo offers a stunning perspective. Of course, enriched by your words. I have yet to meet a completely healed person, but I do believe they exist and that it is possible. My own healing has escalated over the last five years by pouring my midlife self into creative expression and helping others find their voice thru co-teaching narrative therapy. Meditating daily is a must (for me). I love your creativity and your captivating work, Kate.
Thankyou Michele, I love your work too. I think that pouring ourselves into creativity is exceptionally healing. It’s something I have found works for me. It has a way of opening us.
Thank you, I am grateful for you. 🌼
“Reach for grace” and “anything can become a habit” are true words to live by. The photo of Bodhi is great — captures the compassion, the unquestioned goodness of a natural being. Isn’t it funny how we are so quick to define whatever WE are as the best and highest? It’s laughable, yet whole systems of thought and industry are based on such a foolish assumption. I could go on about this at great length. Maybe I’d better think about writing my own poem instead. 😉 ❤️
Haha yes write your own poem and then I can read it ❤️
this is where forgiveness comes in, Kate, of ourselves and others ; I am so certain of this that I crew — is that the past tense of ‘crow’ ? — in my post —
I don’t know if it is the past tense of crow – I’m not sure that crow has a past tense but it’s certainly an echo in the ear 😊