The Ventriloquist

There are these voices

That live in my head

I’m not mad

We all have them there

Listen to them

How do they sound?

Are they male

Or female?

Also

Are they familiar?

Mine are

I have my Dad

Among others

Exasperated

In fact most of my inner critics

Are male – I hear them

Saying things like

“Wake up to yourself”

“Grow up”

“Be quiet”

And of course the ubiquitous

“Shut up – you talk too much”

Doubt is harder to pick

Is it my mother?

Tentative

Perhaps we had better not..

Rock the boat

Procrastination

Well that is a voice I call myself

The perfectionist

Yes, and that’s where it stems from

These are both voices that I do a great job of

Whilst always listening

To the voice of

The disembodied

Ventriliquist

Projecting

Heckling

On to everything I touch

There are a few other females

Strident

Annoying

Cloying

I don’t pay them any heed

Worked out long ago

They can only see

From a narrow base of fear

However the funny thing is

When you start paying attention

I mean

Really

Paying

Attention

To what is being said

And who is saying it

There simply isn’t anyone there

*Paying attention to the voice of self criticism is a great way to rid myself of it I’ve found.

Reflection and writing have been two of the trustiest and most effective tools of “emptying” old toxic thought patterns and beliefs from my system.

Last Friday WordPress informed me I had written 500 posts.

I would say most of them would be since last October when I reopened the blog and since then have posted nearly every day.

Seth Godin said that writing a blog and posting daily was in the top best five moves he has ever made – more in an article here

I would have to say it has been one of mine too and I have met so many wonderful people that I wouldn’t have otherwise.

For the next 500 posts (to get to my 1000 bits of paper) I will be continuing to share – almost daily – meaningful moments of mine along the way. I look forward to reading yours.

Due to the extent of posts behind me now I will also randomly link to older posts in case anyone wants a quick read “back there”.

Other posts: https://athousandbitsofpaper.com/2020/05/12/the-fence-that-keeps-us-penned/

https://athousandbitsofpaper.com/2019/11/20/look-at-the-sky-poetry-for-creatives/

*header photo – shadows of one of my dogs Ringo and I out walking. Conditioning or “the voices in our heads” remind me of shadows – always there, attached to us yet unlike shadows – we often imagine them real. Once observed however, they tend to lose their power over us and dissipate.

19 thoughts on “The Ventriloquist

  1. I can relate to that, Kate, writing helps me to clarify my thoughts and bring things into perspective. Writing drowns out the other voices in my head and allows me to concentrate on what is before me. Congratulations on the 500 posts, quite an undertaking. Particularly to keep the creative juices flowing.

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